((MIP Friends))

For those who have not been updated, my AH is now in a detox facility.  He has been there since Monday.  I left him with a generous amount of cigarettes and change.  The change is all gone so I have not heard from him today.  I did phone the nurse to get an update about how he's doing.  The nurse said he's doing fine, not having severe withdrawel etc.  She said he's participating in the meetings and doing what he is supposed to be doing. 
Now before a year ago I probably would be beaming by that statement, but it has no affect on me.  In my opinion he's just going through the motions and giving lip service.  I don't know if his stay will be extended after Sunday.  Hopefully it will or they will transfer him to a 14-day program or a Half way house.  If he goes to a half-way house he'll have to stay there indefinitely or until he gets into a treatment program.  Its really his choice. 

My focus has been looking at the finances and making decisions about what to do to get financially stable.  My credit cards are maxed out, high balances and I'm already a month behind.  I filled out some paperwork with a Christian Credit Counselor, anyone have experience with them.  Hoping they could keep my credit from being damaged too much.  My MIL and Mom are both willing to help me a little financially each month until I can sell my condo. 
I can't tap into 401K, so I made the decision to sell my treadmill and my AH's base guitar rig equipment.  I might be able to get up to 800 dollars with those sales.  I can tell AH still doesn't get the damage he's done, he said why do you have to sell my music equipment, my love, my passion in life.  "Well, you wrecked my car" and in my opinion you need to be financially responsible for that grand to get the car fixed.  I said whatever I get for the base equipment you can take off the 1000 dollars, you pay me back before you buy any other equipment.  At this time he's only concerned with his music, his job, and his getting his best friend to forgive him.  He could care less about the kids or my life, he hasn't asked one question unless it pertains to him. 

I have been holding up emotionally, my kids are going through a tough time, they miss their Daddy.  Eventually I'll get us back to family counseling when we can afford it.  I really believe everything is going to be alright.  I never thought I'd have this feeling.  I know for sure at this time I don't want AH back in the house, not until I am really convinced that he's changing.  So far I'm not impressed. 

Thank you all for your support it really means a lot to me and gives me strength that others have braved through these hard times and are still here to talk about it, and even better they are happier people.  I feel at peace right now. 

Have a good day,
Twinmom~