The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH and I have a joint checking account. He is nickel and diming us to death! He thinks it is no big deal to take out $20 per day (or more)...it adds up! I would like to take his name off our account. Does anyone know if I can do this without his permission?
I don't feel like I am necessarily trying to control his drinking, though cutting off direct access to our account would certainly make it harder for him. I feel like I need to do this to protect our extremely fragile cash flow.
not sure if you could take his name off of a joint account but you could take your name off and open another account in your name only.
I have done that with my non-A husband. I take care of all the bills and he would just take out what he needed whenever he needed it. It doesn't have to be an A to do this. I put so much in his account and if he spends it all or overdraws then it is his problem to deal with. I don't use his account and he does not use mine.
With my banking experience and my AH...this is what I found:
I could not take his name off of the account. So what I did was open up my own checking account with the same bank and I transferred the all of the funds over to my new account. I still have that joint account set up and I only use it to deposit any funds that has his name on it. Then I go back to the office, log on line to my bank and do a funds transfer to get it immediately out of there. This has worked great for me. Especially when we sold our house & I bought my own house. I received all kinds of refund checks (mortgage company, cable company, power company, etc) b/c of adjustments. All of them had both of our names on it. I didn't even have to tell him we received them (besides it was my money I used to pay the bills in the 1st place so I was 100% entitled to the refunds). I just signed both of our names on it, wrote "For Deposit Only" and put in the joint acct. Then transferred out. HEHE. Worked great with my taxes too.
That is MY EXPERIENCE. Take what you like, leave the rest. :) Sincerely, QOD
I worked in banking for several years and you could add a person to your account, but not take one off. I dont think thats changed in the years I've been out of the banking industry. I dont think its possible to remove your name either. Your best option would probably be to just open up an account in your name. Check with your branch though, they may have other ideas or suggestions.
__________________
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
I am currently an officer at a Bank. The answer is NO, the only way to remove his name is to close the account and open another one. The only exception is in the event of a death and that requires a death certificate.
My husband did the same thing and after years of arguing about it he opened his own account..
You may want to consider this: If you have any income that is yours that currently goes by direct deposit to your joint account, you have control over where your income goes.
In my Experience ... which you asked us to share ... it turned out for personal reasons to be better for *me* to leave our joint checking account open (even though I could have closed it). Then I did the paperwork to have my income deposited directly into a new account that I opened solely in my name.
(The personal reasons are ones that I had to consult an attorney about ... so I am certainly not going to attempt to share legal advice! lol But, in my Experience, there are lots of twists and turns in life and what to do about keeping a joint account open or closing it turned out in my case to have more than one law involved that made it better for *me* to leave it open. Everyone else's mileage may vary.)
what i do know, is that you can withdraw any amount from your joint checking account. you can open a new account with your name only. you cannot, however, remove a joint owner from an account without the joint owner there, in person, agreeing and signing for the action.
i try to keep my side of the street clean... meaning, i would not hide the fact that i will protect my assets and ability to keep my credit good. i will never again have a joint account, though. nor do i feel any regret when i took most of the cash out of the joint account i had with my wife, without her knowing... i told her why and was prepared for the on-slaught, but kept my boundary in place.
yours in recovery cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
