O.K. enough pain. I give. I have had it want my own life back - Al-Anon Family Group

hippietrippiechick · Senior Member

O.K. enough pain. I give. I have had it want my own life back

Friendofyours · ~*Service Worker*~

AMEN GIRL, now your talking..........God Grant me the serentity! Say it every day.

aunitedway · ~*Service Worker*~

HTC; You care about your self. what a blessing to be able to realize that You Can. only You can if you want to.... *STOP the drama.

Just like you say. to stop the chaos to remain strong when wanting to give in when your feeling weak... well tadaaaaa~~~ thats where the program steps in. yipppeeeee........what a wonderful program it is too
if you work it.

IF you have to sing the steps to yourself ... do it. fill your mind with positive stuff. stop the insanity of thinking about your A . sooo not worth all the energy your wasting. Think about the 3 C's" Cant control., didnt cause and can not cure. repeating the serenity prayer over and over. lords prayer. read odat from back to front if it helps to stop my negative thoughts. get my mind off of trying to control the As life. i have to stop me. its not my business. i go work out.. i do what i can to find something to get busy working on or with., like a table puzzle .. anything to stop the madnessof the As isms. hmm... what a lovely idea.. a table puzzle. one I will make a definite note to do for and to myself lol) anything... alanon related is good for you. you know this. lol. words, phrases, slogans, prayer anything that will help place you settle into a space within yourself of peace.

i start at step one each morning.   as i accept my life is unmanageable.... i move onto to step 2 and    take in a deep    breathe   feeling life    feeling a power greater than myself (HP)    blessings   of  / with   another day to be here and in life.....    and   step 3 as i breathe it allll out .,
Letting Go and   well   Turn ing it all Over to my HP.

i hate to see you in such pain.
when feeling vulnerable, (you say weak) id have to ask myself, when feeling like giving in; do i want * healthy? .... or do i choose chaos?

because in recognizing i have a choice., this.... well it makes it easier to let go. and time is a good friend. it give s you time to think and to stop yourself. check yourself.

Try and try and try to keep the Focus of your thoughts to HP/ God.
(to You. forYou)
Take care You.

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

I do hope, HT, that you can carry on toward a better life. It will not happen if you continue to contact him. It's over. Let it be.

With caring,

Diva

annmarie · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Hippie))),

I will be praying for you. I was in a similar position to yours, while I was going through my breakup up with my A. I had good days and bad days, and days when I caved in and answered his calls, and days when I was weak and I called him. Thats the process I think.

My ex too told me the alcohol was more important to him than I was. This was one of the most hurtful things he could have said to me at the time. However now, a few months later, I am starting to appreciate his honesty in that conversation. I think he really cared enough to want a better life for me than he knew he was able to give me.

Of course the sadness of this disease is hard to understand, and the hard work we have to do every day is very tough. It really is babysteps for a while now...but it is all progress.

I wish you well. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Yours in recovery,
AM

Barbs45 · Senior Member

Hi Hippie,

It's never easy having to let go and many of us here have had to do it too.

Hope you find the right way for you.

Take care,
Barbs.x

carolena · Senior Member

(((((((Hippie)))))) Of course, alcohol is more important to him than anything - he's an alcoholic!! You're on the right track to detaching from him and getting on with your own life. If it's good for you - it's good for him -- but do it for you. It's not easy. When you want to call him, call someone in Al-Anon, get on this board, or journal on the computer or journal book. One step at a time -

Do something good for yourself tomorrow - buy yourself a rose or a stuffed animal.

hippietrippiechick · Senior Member

I guess I will have to do something nice for me that don't cost $. I am totally broke, till the beginning of the month..A little walk outside with my walkman, watch an old movie, things like that

gardengal · ~*Service Worker*~

Dealing with a decision like this is sometimes too much for you to do alone, there is help. For me it was going to alanon, which was my saving grace through those trying times. I recieved the validation/non-judgemental acceptance of my decisions. If you can get to a face to face alanon meeting, and keep going back, it will help you during this time, as it has millions of others who have experienced this pain.
The decison is yours,,,and its now "your" time to start doing things just for you!
(Alanon is free)

hippietrippiechick · Senior Member

I have already spoken to the Al-anon rep for my little area, but she nor anyone else says they can come pick me up. I got a vdery errie feeling from this "spokesperson" lady.
I will have to call down to the beach and see if anyone at all would pick me up and bring me to the meetings there. Hey! That's a good idea, don't ya think?

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.