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The A has not packed one single thing. He is sitting there living in la la land again. I think he always lived in la la land really. All his grandiose plans, all his friends, all his tantrums don't amount to accepting reality. I went today and filed all my papers. He did nothing last night but party with his new friends and dream. They keep saying oh we have this truck that truck the other truck. I never see anything. I think if they had access to all those trucks they would have their own moving business going.
So apparently the A thinks he can go up north, find a trailer install his stuff in a trailer and camp out or something. Last night he asked to use my phone to call long distance for some rental up there. Talk about magical thinking.
He is working so he will have a little money. I've urged him over and over to get a storage facility nearby put his stuff in storage and go up there and stay in a cheap motel whatever. I guess it isn't grand enough for him. I see now so so so very clearly he has to have chaos he has to have disorder and he has to have an emergency.
Last night in my little room surrounded by boxes I felt relief I was not dealing with his craziness first hand. As I expected he partied and lived it up. His grandiosity is astounding to me. I am not in a place where I can even remonstrate with him anymore.
So now I'm left with moving my computer no doubt he'll put up some huge fuss over that. I also have to leave my dogs to him and that bothers me he is so out of touch with reality. The two together can protect themselves. They may get out and get lost but I have to turn them over to HP's time. I was going to offer to go up with him but he is so out of touch I am not sure I will. I also may just have to work. I am turning every hour over.
I have seen the A really super bad but this is the worst. He is totally out of it. There is no question to me he is doing drugs. There is also no question that I cannot live with it. That is my fear if I went up there even to settle in the dogs I'd be very vulnerable to him. He is tantruming more. I'll just have to turn that over.
Right now he has approximately a week. Tomorrow the attorney will file a default motion on him. So in a generous mode he'll have 7 days. They already took the trash cans away today for some reason. I guess they are leaving a message so much for the A's claims to everyone including his family that everything is absolutely fine!
Without Al anon I'd be in there trying to fix all this. Right now I do nothing except take care of me. I am concerned of course but I am not packing one thing of his. I am also not remonstrating with him anymore. I also have learned to say Wow to the friends grand promises. They certainly are good at promising.
this is very tough, I know the la la land, how they live there I don't know but at least you are not building the castles in the air for him to live in, I know the fix it mode thats something I had to learn not to do and it is alanon that has taught me that, I think its a big plus. I know you are concerned but you are doing the right thing, there is a point where you need to take care of you.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. You're doing great by taking care of yourself. It's sad to see someone we once cared about being lousy. Unreal. You do have us and even if you have to go to a library you check in with us ok? We care about you. You will be in my prayers. Good luck
mary the dogs would be better off in the humane society than left to get ran over, starve, go without water etc. PLEASE do not leave them there.
I have done rescue all of my life, I have seen what sick people do with animals and please don't add to it.
It is more responsible and loving to give them to a good shelter or try to find them homes!
He will not take care of them, he won't. Please don't take me wrong but this makes me very mad. I know I can only control me, but whe it comes to animals and children who cannot take care of themselves I won't shut up.
If you leave his creepy friends could sell them to some horrible pit bull person who will use them as bate. I can tell you a million horrible things that will happen if you leave them.
I am glad you are getting some money in anyway. Hopefully when you get more settled you will feel better and find a job you like.
Mary it does not matter he is not packing, it does not matter what he does. Please use all your love and energy on YOU.
Day at a time hon. we don't know what will come. But I can tell you, if you want a garden bad enough you will have one again. Please try to maybe concentrate how you can make yourself ok where you are going. go slow.
I wish I was closer so I could help with the dogs. please please don't abandon them. love,debilyn
I posted about the dogs too in the other post you wrote. Please do not leave them there. I agree with Debilyn. I believe something terrible will happen to them just being left behind. I'm a huge animal (especially dog) lover and I am really worried about them. Please keep us posted. Please take the responsibility to get them to a safe place. They can't speak for themselves so please please help them. Thanks and keep us posted.
