The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi Friends, I am a grateful member of alanon for 8 months now, I live in a small town in quebec where there is only aa, no alanon or naranon so i've been coming here online for support.It has helped me so much, i don't feel so alone anymore, I feel a burden has lifted somewhat that I can talk about my situation and get good feedback and not get judged or critized, its a great feeling, I will tell you abit about my situation for those of you who dont know me yet.I am married to my hub for almost 23 yrs, we have 3 children together, 2 girls ages 22,13, 6.Our 6 yr old is moderately autistic.(another challenge)But shes my life and love her to death.My hub has ben alcoholic for all of our marriage,we had our good And bad times, he is a binge drinker, will drink 1-2x week and get really drunk, can be verbally abusive and a bully, last march, 13 months ago, he started shooting cocaine and things went from bad to worse, before that he worked, our bills were paid etc but when he started doing the coke, he became adddicted fast and our lives went spiralling downward fast, he spent everything he made on drugs, didnt pay any bills, stole from me, what little i did have.So i left with my 2 youngest kids and moved 600 miles away to my old hometown at my moms house, he continued to do drugs for few months then went into detox for 3 weeks in oct.He relapsed few times after that then he came here to visit kids and I and i let him stay, thought it would help him get clean easier away from the city and the influences.He stayed clean of drugs for 2 months then went back to city after xmas and relapsed again grr.he came back here at beginning of Jan and has been clean of drugs since but has been drinking 2x week and im mad at myself for letting him back before he was clean for awhile.he hasnt been going to meetings here or showing any effort into trying to stop drinking altho after drinking he always says im going to start going to meetings etc bt never got there yet.I am slowly larning to detach from him, but is a slow progress, this is 1st time i have got help with this, have been dealing with this alone for over 20 yrs.I am tired of giving chances, not getting anything back in return, maybe he isnt ready, but how do i deal with an angry , depressed A plus deal with my kids and my autistic daughters issues, sometimes, i just feel so overwhelmed i could cry.So i have talked to a few people and they recommended i look for a sponsor to help me deal with everything and keep the focus on ME, which i have a hard time doing.So if any of you would like to become my sponsor and help me on this long journey, please contact me asap, i would appreciate it so much.
Thanks in advance Serenity(haven't found it yet lol)
Serenity, if there is no Al-Anon in your area, I suggest looking into the AA meetings. If they are open meetings then you are welcome to attend. You may find other AA family members at the meeting that could help you all get an Al-Anon meeting started or help with sponsorship.
I personally know a few "old timer's" in the program that have told me they get just as much or more out of an AA meeting than they do Al-Anon meetings.
I have attended a few open AA meetings and have never walked out after the meeting without hearing something that helped me.
Yours in Recovery Barb
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
I have 3 kids too, all grown, youngest one disabled due to a brain injury. I can relate to your situation. I have worked this program for a long time to get my brain to stay in today. It has helped me to be a strong parent. I have put too much focus on my husband, dry 20 years/never stuck with a program. My life and health now depends on letting go of his disease, I have let it progress this far. I keep letting go and taking it back, not accepting that he will probably never change. We have been married 25+ years. I am working baby steps here right along with you.
You will find a sponsor when it is the right time. I found mine here at MIP. love and peace in the program,
I agree I like AA meetings better myself, and they even allow me to come to closed meetings. They knew I was there for me and the 12 steps. They came to appreciate my opinion and we came to be good friends.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
Oh, I agree, I LOVE the open AA meetings. There are a whole lot more AA meetings in my area than there are Alanon. Everyone I have met at meetings have been very receptive when I tell them I am a Grateful Alanon Member. I gain a lot of insight to why I am the way I am thru those meetings also. I do not go to try to change my AH. I just know there are more of those meetings, and sometimes easier for me to get to. Good luck in finding a sponsor. That is on my "to do" list also. Love in Recovery, Becky1
