The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I saw a book online that I would really like to own. In the store it would be $42 dollars and change. Online with shipping it is less than $30.
So off I go to the store and buy an online gift card for this particular site so I can order the book.
And now here is the problem. I feel TERRIBLE about doing this. I am not rich but all of the bills are paid and there is usually a little bit extra each pay.
I take wonderful care of myself normally. I eat well, sleep well, make sure I socialize, do the stuff I need to do to restore my sanity.
Now here I am trying to decide whether I am going to order this book or give this gift card as a gift. Have this hoge boulder in my stomach trying to do something nice albeit frivolous thing for myself. Go figure lilms
-- Edited by lilms at 17:44, 2007-04-04
-- Edited by lilms at 17:44, 2007-04-04
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Two things: 1. Recovery is a process, not an event.....and.... 2. You only get to go around once. Leave em laughing and make it worth your while
(((((((((((hugs))))))))))) .... very familiar to me: generally take care wonderful care of myself, as you said; once have the gift card, i can start focusing on others (childhood necessity in order to survive) ..... best method i've found for getting my head back on straight in that type of situation: recalling that *I* am the best friend I have, even though I have wonderful friends and family.
Just my way, hope it helps you or someone else reading.
I do believe that I've experienced exactly what you describe ... of course, as Dennis Miller says, "But I could be wrong." lol
Backup strategy for me: I have a reeeeeallly good friend; I send her the gift card with the understanding that she will send it right back to me as a gift from her. :)
Sweetie have you gone to Amazon and checked if they have used ones?
oh I KNOW. When I was a widow raising kids I did not buy underwear. lol My mother made them.
When I started to buy ME socks, unders, pretty nightgowns.wow. Was very hard to do.
It takes awhile, keep doing it. does not have to be boughten things, it can be making boundaries to make yourself be happier.
I do not like people coming to my door with out calling first. Seems funny since I am a JW lol. i mean friends who will stay. Lots is becuz of my disabilities.So I am gated in. There is a pasture around my bunkhouse. I love it. Privacy is something I give me.
i am a super worker. I start and do not stop. Well now I allow myself to rest alll day if I like. I am on the computer all day sometimes.
Anyway good for you, when ya feel that guilt feeling, say stop, and smile and say I am worth it. Besides you are giving to your best friend.
I do the same thing. But I have to remind myself, that I deserve to take care of me too. I work hard, take care of my family. So wouldn't I deserve a treat? You wouldn't think twice if it concerned your children or your beloved kitty. So why not you? I say Good For Lilms for taking care of herself. You should do more of it. Enjoy the book!
Love and blessings to you and your family, and kitty.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Would it help if I asked you to buy a book for a really great friend? She a wonderful person who deserves a special gift. She is giving and hardly ever does anything for herself. She would cherish this gift and be very grateful. She would use it to benefit her self-growth and probably even share it with someone after she is finished with it, if they asked.
So could you help out my friend, please?
If so, please order this book for my friend, her name is Lilms.
She deserves it.
Thank you, I know she will greatly appreciate it.
((Hugs)), Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
