The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm feeling like things are pretty hopeless right now. Like I said last month, my husband left me, found out he's been talking to another woman....just talking he says and says he has stopped talking to her and that he will not have any contact with her again. But he still doesn't want to get back together. Likes the life of having no responsibility. He decided this past Tuesday he needed to quit drinking (he became a binge drinking alcoholic about 5 months ago) so that's good, except I talked to him on the phone tonight and he's going to hang out with a bunch of his friends who drink. Not good.
My kids are so resentful of their father right now and want nothing to do with him. It kills me to see them hurting so badly. They keep asking if he is going to come back home and he keeps saying maybe. He's also been diagnosed with severe depression by our family doctor. Our family doctor sent him to see a psychologist. The psych was supposed to make the judgement on what kind of meds my husband needed, but after seeing him for 20 minutes decided that he was fine and wasn't depressed. But my husband has either been crying and totally depressed or drunk to forget about things. He's even talked about suicide. I phoned our family doctor to tell him what happened and he's going to try to get him on some meds. Hopefully he can.
My crack addict brother had finally been clean for about 2 months and had gone to live at my dad's place (far away from here) to start over. Just found out he took off 2 days ago and is using again.
Hmmmm, what else? Oh yeah, 2 weeks after my husband left me my car was nearly totalled off by some lady who ran a stop sign, admitted to the police office that it was her fault, but now all of the sudden she is trying to fight it.
I have a hard time getting through each day just because of the fact my husband isn't here. All this extra stress is taking it's toll on me. My daughter had her b'day party today and is having a few friends sleep over. I held it together for her b'day so she could have fun, but inside I felt like running away and crying.
I pray to God at least 2-3 times a day and I don't feel like I'm getting any help. If anyone out there can say some prayers to help me through this I'd appreciate it.
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Just concentrating on getting through one day at a time.
Jayda you need support thru this time , u need f2f meetings where u can make new friends who understand what your going thru right now. Your life has been affected by alcoholism and u too need to recover. There is nothing u can do about your husb or your brother just love them and accept where their at. Your children are upset * understandable * they don't know whats going on . Am sorry about your accident , but if there was a police statment I am sure it will all work out ok , you did not cause the accident just let it play out the way it's supposed to .Depression and alcoholism go hand in hand very common with alcoholics. Please find meetings for yourself and your children . louise
My heart goes out to you hon, please concentrate on you right now. There is nothing you can do about the actions of the addicts in your life, so make it better for you in anyway you can.
I understand the kids are upset, be there for them.
Keep coming here, find f2f if there is one near you, we have a chat room also. There is usually someone in there no matter the time of day or night.
Take care of you and know we all understand and will be here for you.
Lots of support for you here. As others have said go to a f2f meeting to validate what you are going through. My AHsober left, I mean just walked out the door, two years ago. It is tough being the one left behind. Our sons are out of the house but it has impacted them. Our whole family life has changed. But the disease of alcoholism is present. My AHsober is basically clueless and doesn't want to know what an impact his actions have. I have been left with alot of the responsibility and chores. I try to stay out of resentment. So I developed a plan. The greatest gift has been friends, family and strangers who are willing to help me out. Just remember that you are not alone.
Indeed I do those feelings so well. Go back and read some of my old posts. Sometimes it just feels like life is letting you down. It's one thing after another, and on and on and on. But I can tell you, that it's the little that you have to find the joy in. No matter how small or insignificant it may seem.
For instance, my house needs it's spring cleaning, and I'm still a little under the weather. Work was exhausting this weekend, and I'm a bit grumpy. But I look outside and the sun is shining and the birds are singing. Spring is here. So I sat outside on my patio and read my daily meditation drinking my coffee. Life is okay. Can't help but smile at the birds.
Take a few minutes, make a gratitude list. Bet there are lots of things to be greatful for. Enjoy the awakening of a spring day. These hard times have a way of passing before we know it. Be good to yourself.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
