The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
WOW!!!! I feel as if I have been on a journey the last few weeks. I have grown so much in my life...Also I have grown up...lol
Well, my anti-deps are working, I'm accepting I am just like everyone else "Normal"..... I believe I am worthy of things in my life. I have a new f2f group I have started, a Saturday night one. It's never been done before, but hey, saturday nights are boring right...lol
My first meeting is on 28th of April. I am really excited. This has given me great confidence, in myself, and is bringing my self-esteem up again. I had doubts about it, "OMG" what if no-one comes...lol But this group will not fail, for the want of trying.. I have thrown everything I have into it. I've booked everything myself, have done flyers advertising it, putting them up in certain places. With good wisdom from older members. This is the void in my life that I have not been able to fill. I am putting my group into that for today.
I am going on a plane in 16 days..... I am scared big time. But I am also looking forward to it. I have been sorting my work situation out too. They have been really suppportive to me. I'm doing all sorts on this pc...lol (Im actually getting quite good) thanks to My Mate in Canada...lol
As for my finances, well..... I'm getting all that sorted out too, because, im finally facing up to them. I don't have loads of debt, I just let myself get into a wee rut.
The one thing in my life that still sucks, is my relationship with my friend... It's so hard for me to let this go. The last few weeks I have been busy, busy, I'm now going out 4 nights a week to meetings. Meeting people, having a laugh and growing in my programme. I have NOT been obsessing over him. But the last two days he's back living rent free in my head... I am praying to god, to help me with this. Loving him is the hardest thing in my life right now. If I could just jump that hurdle I would be okay.
He is down, he is NOT working his programme, and who's suffering the most...ME lol How ironic is that...
"God grant me serenity to let this go"........
I am realising now just how much I am missing him, how much I want him to be a part of my life. I text him to tell him I missed him...He replied " U saw me on sunday, what r u missing"......lol Is this a man thing or what...lol or a typical A.... I ignored that comment....so he replied later in the day..." Is it my charm ".....OMG , haha
Anyway I am getting stronger everyday, I am doing my best for everyone including MYSELF.....
I am pulling back from what is not my affairs....Just trying to be happy, content and enjoy my life.
My personality is getting worse.....haha I am driving people nuts
But I feel like a new person, and I like what I see.....
Please pray for me going on this biddy plane....haha (Gawd help the passengers..haha)
You really are doing "brilliant"!!! I sure wish I could be one of the passenger's on that plane with you.......what a fun time!!! They have no idea what they are in for......a ride of their lives. I am so proud of you, ally. You are working hard on getting you back and I am loving seeing it happen. You're like a butterfly just coming out of it's caccoon and unfolding it's wings and getting ready to fly. So, dear friend........spread those wings and fly and enjoy!! All I ask is that you don't fly away from us......we need you.
ally, it's great to see your progress in action :) as for the plane ride, well, i know i am more chicken than you are, and i will be wishing for your serenity. take along a coloring book and crayons and scribble the heck out of it , but stay witin the lines rofl. that's what my adult niece did one time :)
again, i love that you are working your program so faithfully and well.
I like what I see, too: someone who is getting "content". Service has certainly helped me work my program -- and also, made me grateful to the others who do it, so thank you for future miracles you will be offering.
As for the plane ride -- well, that's where I work -- flying in this day and age is extremely safe, safer than driving a car, trane, boat, or bicycle. the fear is just that... fear... you've probably not flown much, so you don't know what a cakewalk it is -- pull up your laces and put on a big smile. For me, commercial flying is a great time to catch up on crosswords and Harry Potter.... yes, even grown men muggles can enjoy spending time with Severus, the Weasleys, and the whomping tree.
love ya cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
(((((((((((((((((((((yo roomies)))))))))))))))))))))))