The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My name is Teresa and I'm fairly certain the answer is yes, but in reading a few of the posts here, I'm wondering if this is the place I need to come or not. It seems that many people here are family and friends of people who are not trying to work on their disease, and they are trying to deal with that. That's not exactly my story--I guess I should go ahead and tell my story, or at least part of it...
I am in a weekly prayer group with four other women, and we are quite close. One of the members has been an alcoholic for years. It has caused a multitude of problems in her life and the life of her family. She went through a thirty day treatment program at the end of the summer, and stayed sober for about 100 days. (Our group formed shortly after her rehab) She has relapsed and is quickly spiraling out of control. She is drinking "secretly," thinking she's fooling everyone, but in reality everyone is aware of the situation. She has been shutting us out little by little, and we've been becoming increasingly worried about her. She left her husband and daughter the other night and went to a friend's house to spend the night and drank a bottle of her kaluah and some cooking sherry while she was asleep. She's also been stealing beer out of friends' homes during the day. Enough of that, though...
Yesterday, I called a mutual friend of ours, who is a recovering alcoholic and asked her advice. She immediately got in her car and drove 90 miles to come and talk--we ended up finding our friend and they went to a park and talked for about three hours. The original plan was to get her into a detox program last night---but she (the a) doesn't think she needs it--that she can do this through working the program.
So my question is this--is there anyone here that can relate to my story or offer any words of support or advice?
Thanks in advance... Teresa
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"Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him and He disappeared from their sight." -Luke 24:11
Welcome Teresa, and your instincts are correct, you DO belong here!! I think you will find us very welcoming and open to your questions and shares.... Learn lots, read whatever good literature you can get your hands on, and you'll see some great eye-opening results.... One book for newcomers, that I always recommend, is "Getting Them Sober", volume one, by Toby Rice Drews.
Hope you keep coming back, and there are lots of great people on this board...
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I didn't get invovlved with alanon until the alcoholic in my life had stopped drinking - believe me, I still needed it!
Oner of the main things you will learn here is that you cannot rescue an alcoholic - you simply do not have that much power. Personally, I would not check someone into detox, or drive her there, or take care of any of those details, unless for some reason she really was unable to do it herself. If she doesn't want it enough to go get it, she will not be able to handle the hard work needed for longterm sobriety. This is harsh, but it is reality.
In some ways, doing for the alcoholic what she should be doing for herself is denying her the dignity of an adult human - as long as recovery is driven by YOU, she will never take charge of her own lief and her own consequences, and this is what has gotten her into this mess in the first place.
