The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, i have decided that enough is enough and I am planning on divorcing husband. He is now drinking a fifth of vodka every night. I showed him an empty bottle today (the one he bought last night and drank the WHOLE thing). His response? "Yeah, I guess I need to cut back a little!" I said how about quitting and he told me that wasn't going to happen. I told him I did not know how much longer I can take of this and he told me that he did not care and that he was not going to quit drinking. At that point, I realized that I can not deal with this every night. He is very abusive (verbally & emotionally) to me and the kids, he gets into these rages that I think he's going to explode. Then he goes to bed, passes out and forgets that it even happened. So, that's it...I am divorcing him and he can get drunk all on his own...
I'm so sorry you are going through this and your kids too.
I had a bf that drank vodka that way too. Thankfully I didn't marry him, but we are good friends now. Now if he calls I can tell if he's been drinking and I can also feel free to tell him to call me back when he's not drinking.
Please take care of yourself and please keep coming back to al-anon for your sake.
(((desperate))))) Glad you are here. Sorry you are going thru this, and your kids too. I, too, know just how you feel, except I don't want to leave! But, then again, I don't have kiddos at home anymore! Keep coming back. Love in Recovery, Becky1
desperate for help wrote: So, that's it...I am divorcing him and he can get drunk all on his own...
Thanks for letting me vent...
Hi, I made that decision about 6 weeks ago, and although I haven't exactly gone back on it, I have gained alot of sanity and wisdom with the help of this page and (a little) alanon in the community. I'll just tell you what I keep telling myself, do whatever you have to do in a way that's best for the children. It helps to put my needs and emotions aside and see what I have to do more clearly. Look forward to hearing from you Jamie
__________________
I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
Of course we all know how you feel, but I think you're actually lucky he's admitting he's not going to quit. My bf was drinking a fifth and more every day toward the end. I didn't even know how much. On Christmas Day, I gave him back his engagement ring and took our daughter and walked away. We never did live together, which made it easier for me. I had told him from the beginning that we would not live together until he quit drinking. My "detachment" began as a New Year's resolution 2006. I realized that I didn't make him drink and I couldn't make him stop. It took me all year to finally walk away. The year was full of empty promises of quitting. I have heard others in this forum talk about staying with their A. I know I couldn't do it. I LOVED the fact that we didn't live together and I had somewhere to escape from him. My home was my haven. And most of all, my daughter seemed to feel safer there. She was nervous whenever Daddy was around because he became so mean when he was drunk. I couldn't stand to see that fear in her face.
Hang in there, it may be a very tough road. What helped me was reminding myself that his drinking was his problem and nothing I did would stop it or cause it. He would drink if I left; he would drink if I stayed. He would drink if I said "yes"; he would drink if I said "no." The only thing I could be sure of was he would drink.
