The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Recently I posted something about how I was looking for the "recovery" on this board and it was hard to find, this was after reading what felt like the upteenth self obsessed "poor me" vent from someone who claimed to have like loads of recovery and years in the program. I too need recovery and ESH and look for it here and in F2F, so I just felt discouraged that day and hence my own "vent" LOL, I should have taken my own advice!
Yesterday I read a long article about humility and what it means, and learned a lot about myself. Humility means for me to look for the good in others, and also to be open minded to what others can teach me.
I myself spent years venting in Alanon also, and have only recently gotten to the point that I feel like I got most of it "out", LOL, and can focus on my own personal recovery, hence why I look for articles like the one mentioned above and think about how to apply it in my daily life.
In my post I mentioned something about being able to "count on one hand" the people who I felt were really sharing recovery, and on second thought that is a very narrow minded view.
Not only did I forget about many people who I have found ESH from on this site, that had just not recently posted, but I can often learn SOMETHING even from the most self absorbed rant and vent (like so many of you kind fellow alanoners were gracious enough to let me know what you got out of my rather unkind vent, sigh). I remember how in my "venting" days a gracious and kind old timer would take the time to tell me that they had gotten something out of my vent and it would bring me much comfort and hope.
So, this is an amends to this wonderful group for my short sightedness and lack of graciousness.
Of course I can still think that Diva, Karilyn and Pipers kitty, Rita G, David 62, Jill, Debilyn, CJ, Becky1, Megan, and SO many others I may have forgotten to mention are still GREAT and thank them for their wonderful ESH they always share with so much love and kindness (and also their wonderful example of always being gracious and compassionate and looking for the GOOD in everyone that helps us all GROW!), but that does not mean that I cannot learn something from each and every post here.
So, I thank ALL of you for sharing your ESH with us everyday. We can get through this together.
I love how after years of being self centred, stubborn, and always thinking we are right all the time...lol With this programme we can now admit, we might have been wrong in a situation...... People come to this board with what they have.....What they need to get out, etc.......
I don't think we can judge anyone's recovery....or give credit to people who we think have a better recovery.....
Al-anon states "little by little", and at our own pace........If someone has found Al-Anon, well, thats a miracle in itself......
Also remember the slogan "Take what you like and leave the rest".....
As I have learned on here, and in f2f meetings, not everyone is at their best - or worst - all of the time. The person who was cool as a cucumber last week might be venting this week, or vice versa. I don't know how many cycles of this I went through myself before it dawned on me that this too shall pass... and pass again.
One of the earmarks of alcoholism, and those of us who share in the disease directly and indirectly, is kind of a projection of the present reality. "Life is beautiful, I've got it made, and I will feel this way forever". Followed by (often mere minutes later), "Life sucks, the world sucks, everybody hates me and always did and always will". Not just the extremes, but the fact that we have lost the moment by projecting it forever (there's THAT word again!).
One of the most humbling things I've learned is that often my ESH is more valuable when I'm in the "sucks" mood, rather than feeling like the Kung Fu Master of Life. Not just bitching and moaning but admitting I am in real pain. Especially when I was the KF Master just yesterday... I think in the program and in life, we look up to people but eventually realize they are human just like us. I used to write off people when I discovered they weren't perfect. I figured, I didn't need them... but now when I see someone who at the moment seems perfect, I know that maybe tomorrow they won't be... and they will need ME. And I also realize that the day after that they may go back to thinking they're perfect again.... LOL. I know this because I do it myself......
No harm done, Alanoner. I just figured when I read your post that you were "venting" too! For some of us (me) this is the only outlet I have to really let go, let the feelings and words flow through my fingertips onto the keyboard, and get the poison out of my system. The more I type, the better I feel. Lightens up my soul. I feel so loved here, so secure. Am not judged by how much $$$ I have (or don't have!), by how I look, or made to feel stupid because I happen to be in love with an A, who is my husband. We are all the same here, searching. Some of us are new in recovery, some have had years. But, just like A's have slips, no matter how many years someone may have in Alanon or any other 12 Step program, once in a while life sorta gets in the way, and we go thru some rough patches. I don't know where I would be without MIP, honestly. Yeah, I do. I would not be alive. Love in Recovery,
Humility and humbleness have always been tough - for me and everyone; when i see it, though, my heart thumps with pride for the person - that they have the courage to see something in themselves and address it. I'm smiling at you right now.
I think the post you are speaking of helped all sorts of people in different ways. It was an example of and an opportunity for all to show how passionate we are about program. We take what we want and leave the rest, just as our f2f closing states.
yours in recovery cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
On behalf of Pipers Kitty, we accept your amends. It's a very gracious and couragious thing to do. Thank you. I think we all get in these moods, and that's part of recovery. I think it keeps us honest and humble and moving foward. Feel free to kick my behind any time you wish. Heaven knows there are days when I could use it. I could have used it today when I completely through my program out the window! Did you hear a loud crash? Oh well. There's always tomorrow.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
