The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello! I have been wanting to attend Al-Anon meetings for sometime now, but have always found some excuse or another to not go. Everything in my life right now is telling me that I need to go. Right now, the road to recovery just seems so long and far away, that I am reluctant to start on its path. The fact that I would need to take a hard long look at my unsuccessful life and all of my character defects is very scary to me. Also, if I do attend meetings, I already have a fear of asking someone to be my sponsor. How does that relationship begin exactly? If anyone can offer me some words of advice as to how I can find the courage to start my program, I would GREATLY appreciate it. Thanks so much.
As I recall, at my first meeting I didn't say anything more than introduce myself when asked my name. I sat, listened, and took it all in. There are no rules that say you have to speak or not speak, and you shouldn't ever feel pressured to do so. You've got nothing to lose by going and listening. As for finding a sponser, there is no rush on that either. Take things at a pace that is comfortable for you, that is what is most important.
Bonnie, Thank you very much for your kind reply. I am going to try my hardest to summon up the courage to get to a meeting this week. I'll keep you posted. Thanks again.
What you will find at an Al-Anon meeting is a room full of people that will be thrilled to see you every time you walk through the doors. You will also realize that some of them have walked the same road that you have and completely understand what you have been through and how you feel.
The fourth step which asks us to take a fearless inventory simply means to look at your life honestly and realize where you might have some character defects. It does not tell you that you have to do anything more than just admit to yourself that they are there. In step 5 we ask our hp to help us with those defects. I know people that have been in program for quite some time that have still yet to work the fourth step. You work it when your ready and it really isn't something to fear.
As for a sponsor that will come when your ready for one. You will find someone that you connect with and feel you can trust. There is a saying in thr meetings I attend that "When the student is ready the teacher will come". All things happen in due time, we just wait it out and let the miracle begin.
The 12 step program is a very simple program but it does not happen by osmosis. We have to work the steps in the order they were written and slowly but surely you will find the peace you are looking for.
My suggestion to you is go to the meeting, pick up some literature and possibly a book or two to help you understand yourself and the program. Give it a minimum of six meetings before you decide whether or not it is for you. Also if the first meeting you go to doesn't fit right for you then try another one. My first meeting just wasn't right for me but the second meeting I went to gave me a new family and people that tryly cared about me and how I was doing.
I walked through those doors about 2 years ago and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I actually have found me again and that was awesome. I no longer am in the controls of the A/Da's in my life. I took my life back and got out of their way so they could find theirs.
One of the many things that amazed me was that no matter how badly I thought my life was when I went to my first meeing I soon became aware that it could have been a lot worse. I'm not downplaying my pain because to me it was horrible but it could be so much worse.
I found a group of people that I can count on to be there for me anytime I need them, all I have to do is pick up the telephone and call someone.
So go ahead and take that step, we really do not bite hard.
HUGS
-- Edited by Mobirdie at 09:47, 2007-03-11
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
I can't add much to the first two responses, they are so right. Just wanted to let you know that I too was scared. I have been attending Al-anon meetings and working this program for 3 years now. It is the best thing I have ever done for myself as well.
As the others mentioned, its up to you the pace at which you want to progress.
You've gotten excellent responses already. My 2 cents?
I use to go to 5 different Al Anon meetings a week. I am now down to 2 a week plus an open AA meeting.
I started off with that many meetings based on an advice I was given which I am now passing on to you.
"Not all meetings are a perfect match!" You may find some to not be as a valuable as others. But in my humble opinion any meeting is better than no meeting.
Try out as many meetings as you can, and select the ones you find rewarding.
Keep going back, it works if you work it. You are worth it.
