The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I got home late last nite from a little trip out to New Mexico to go skiing. This was my first time to try to ski and I left with no small amount of nervousness about the whole idea, but also very excited to try yet something else new. Something I have let fear keep me from trying in the past.
It was soooo awesome!
Day one was a beautiful sunny day! 28 degrees, a little gusty in the the wind department, but all in all, a perfect day to begin the adventure!
I took lessons the first day and learned some of the basics....like how to stop!!! (Extremely important thing to know how to do on skis!) And by the end of the first day I was "snow plowing" down the bunny slopes with the best of them! he he he ... I still couldn't turn very well, errrrrrrr, or at all..he he.. but the slope I was on was wide and if I was going to run over someone I would just ditch! I figured I would get this figured out better the next day.
After a blustery night, the second day dawned bright and sunny with the wind finally dying down! But it was 12 degrees when I strapped on my skis and headed out to the lifts.
I figured it was time to move on up to a little more challenging run, and so headed off to a "green" trail. My first run down a "real" trail was scary. It was a narrow trail lined on both sides with trees and fairly steep drop offs. My toes were clenched to the bottom of my boots in an effort to somehow hold on to the ground I suppose! Off I went! It didnt take long for me to come to the first real curve, lined with beautiful big hard! pine trees...and mere breaths after that for me to realize I wasnt turning at a rate that would allow for my passage around the curve without becoming a "tree hugger"! So down I went! Over and over this happened down that first run. When I reached the bottom unscathed but a tad dishearted, it was back to the bunny slopes to practice turning.
On the ride back on the lift to the top of the bunny slope I heard a voice say, "You have to look where you want to go!" Hmmmmmmm.....was this my Higher Power talking to me? Was it the gentleman in the lift chair behind me talking to his child? Didn't matter! It sounded like good advice to me! So I set off with this new information, and flew back down that bunny slope, dodging wiped out snow boarders and skiers to the left and right like a world class slalom champ!
Wooohoooo!!
Back to the green slope to try again! Welp approaching that first curve again, I am once again worried about those trees! As I enter the curve I look at the trees and am drawn to them like a moth to a flame! I ditch again! Okay. I get get up, dust myself off and take off again, this time repeating in my head my new mantra for the day! Look where you want to go! Look where you want to go! In the next curve, I see the trees, but off to their left is the path I want to take I turn my head to look there and the body and skis follow....and around the curve I go!!! Success!!!!!!!
On my way back up again, I naturally started seeing how this new found mantra fits into my Al-anon program. And it is so amazing to me how these things always seem to work out that way. For so many years of my life, I was looking at the things I feared might happen. And I can't tell you how many times those things have come to pass. Because things happen in life. We all know the possibilities out there. I used to spend so much energy worrying about and trying to prevent those "bad" things from happening. Those obstacles are always going to be in front of us. But you know, so is the path through them available to us, if we can take the focus off the trees long enough to see the beautiful path of snow covered trail winding between them. I can't control those trees. But I can control how I interact with them. I can let them stop me cold in my tracks, or I can appreciate them for the beautiful things they are, and glide on by.
This is such a wonderful world we have folks.
I am so grateful for al-anon giving me the courage to try new things in spite of the fear, and sometimes even BECAUSE of the fear!
I am also so grateful for those words which I received...."Look where I want to go". Wow! Yoooooouuuuu betcha! Isn't that simple and beautiful?
Wow!! I love it!! Sounds like you had an awesome time, and what great advice to keep you from taking too many falls. It's even better that you just heard it as a voice from out of no where. Makes you wonder what HP is doing huh? Your story reminded me of an old football coach i had back in the day who was always yelling just one word to us running backs.....Vision!!!! When, if, we made it past the line of scrimmage and into some daylight you could always hear him say Vision!!!! to hopefully get us to look and run to daylight......I know I know easier said than done.....just like the skiing......but what great advice!! And a great story for you. Bet you remember the next time you put on the skis. Thanks for sharing it and bringing up some old memories for me too
I'm not learning how to ski, but how to chop wood. To get the axe to chop the wood in the place I want it to, I have to LOOK hard at that spot, and not squinch my eyes shut with the impact. So true, so true . . .
I'm just getting to the place where "looking where I want to go" isn't so sad and scary I just freeze up . . . I have to accept I may not have my husband with me while I do it all, and the grief is very strong. I've grieved and lost before, and I've lived through it. Thanks for putting it into words.
I have recently made a practice of "looking at where you want to go," or looking at what you want to "see".....and have found it to be an excellent way of taking care of myself...and, to feel more joyful! (As opposed to focusing on my misery/fears...)
I love your share! It reminds me of my first ski trip....only I was not as brave as you!! At that time, I prefered to feel safe on the green slopes...happily taking in the beautiful scenery. Haven't been skiing in years,....but I often dream of those gorgeous mountain views to lift my spirits!
I admire your sense of adventure.....and your relationship with your HP!! Thanks for Sharing!
OH this was so much fun to read. I felt like I was there. hahaha I would have loved to have seen you.
I did a lot of skiing in my time. Can't say I liked it a whole lot. Got more out of riding up on the lift. loved that.
There was toe rope back then on the bunny hill. I took my macho bf for the first time and some how the poor guy got his ski up on the toe rope and got all tangled up lol lol
I cracked up that you ran into snow boarders and all. lol lol My son was an avid snow boarder. Living in Oregon a lot of us are skiiers. too fast for me I guess. plus when ya wear glasses it is a drag.
oh this was fun. so glad you shared. love,debilyn who wonders if you had on the tight bright orange ski pants???
so happy for You (((david))) sounds like you reallllyy enjoyed yourself. i do hope your not toooo bruised from the learning curves. im so very proud of you. your post reveals you had a super time of it. good for you. you didnt get frustrated and give up. you felt to hear HP/God and you did through anothers conversation *on the lift.* You let go of the negative emotions that might of kept you from having a truly wonderful learning experience. You set out by looking where you wanted to go.(to the end of the run.) And with hope and a realistic goal, you achieved it. You succeeded.
being filled with all those terrible negative emotions., but then learning to apply healthy ways (Alanon tools) of refocusing on ((where I want to be)) I succeed.
Today, I know where I want to go with *my thoughts, with *my actions, with *my words. AND by using these words, "Look where I want to go." I'm leading. I'm taking care of me. I'm looking out for me. I like that.
YOU ...you YOU MADE THE CURVE! s-e-e determination and a realistic goal. wooohooo!!!!
I grinned from ear to ear the entire time reading your post. Laughed out loud at parts too (the beautiful, hard, pine trees!) What a great post. I love the lesson - look where you want to go.
Thank-you so much for sharing your new experience and success. I loved every word of it! So many parrallels to life. Look where you want to go, I think of that as visualizing where you want to be. It's huge.
And I'm jealous you got to hit the slopes!! Good for you, I'm very happy for you.
Off I went! It didnt take long for me to come to the first real curve, lined with beautiful big hard! pine trees...and mere breaths after that for me to realize I wasnt turning at a rate that would allow for my passage around the curve without becoming a "tree hugger"! So down I went! Over and over this happened down that first run. When I reached the bottom unscathed but a tad dishearted, it was back to the bunny slopes to practice turning. 
Isn't that simple and beautiful?
i do hope your not toooo bruised
from the learning curves. im so very proud of you. your post reveals 
you had a super time of it. 
good for you.
determination and a realistic goal. wooohooo!!!!
Glad you had a good time and thanks for the great share!!
