The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I keep feeling different about being alone now that my A moved out. He feels like I am pushing our relationship away. Maybe I am. Maybe I am learning to lean more on myself and especially God now that I do not have the chaos and 2 walking time bombs living under the same roof. Sometimes I wonder, even though I know I dearly love him, if I am just keeping him around for the financial aspect. It is very hard to make it on my own, and he has helped me overtremendously since the get-go. He spoiled me too much. He always is saying, Stacie, grow up! Maybe now I can, but the future for me is still a mystery. Sometimes I seem to allow my disabilities keep me from growing into the beautiful creature God intended me to be. Other times, I just seem to "float" along day to day, sometimes not even realizing what day of the week it is. Time slips away from me, and I feel I have been missing out on a lot of good things for myself. I still, on the other hand, love my A and want a happy life with him. Would anyone suggest that I give it to him straight. I want to say, I love you and desperately want a happy life with you, but I am going to stay put until I see you get sober and stay sober for a while. What do ya'll think? That one just came to my mind on my own. I have to do something. I still love him. I also love my quiet time like right now, on the computer with my relaxation music playing softly in the background. That is it for now. Please reply
__________________
This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off
Be blessed and have a wonderful day.
Remember God loves you.
PEACE
There is nothing wrong with still loving your A, and nothing wrong with telling him that you love him. Telling him your boundaries is good........as long as you are prepared to stick with it. So if you tell him"I love you and desperately want a happy life with you, but I am going to stay put until I see you get sober and stay sober for a while."Make sure you intend on following through.
It sounds as though you are doing quite well on your own and I am happy you are enjoying some quiet and peaceful moments. Keep working on you........you can't go wrong.
