The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am glad to have found this board. My husband is a alcoholic and I certainly have seen the progression over the last bouple of years. I think the last year or so it has been progressing quickly. He now drinks every day and starts early in the morning on his off days, drinking straight whiskey out of a bottle. But, he tells me he has no problem, and wil not seek help.
I have been a stay at home Mom for the last several years, our youngest is 8, the others are 17, 20 and 24. The oldest lives on his own.
I am now working on a plan to get out of this marriage, as much as it breaks my heart, I can not live like this for the rest of my life, it's not fair to me or anyone else in this family....I only wish he could see that, but he won't and I have to accept that.
I think the last straw for me was he went to pick my son up from college (my youngest daughter and I were on a school night out rollerskating) we were asleep when they got home. The next day my son tells me that my husband showed up DRUNK to pick him up...his college is 2 hours away!!! When I asked my husband about it, he just tried to blow me off, saying he was staggering because he was walking up a hill...another excuse, another lie another denial.
Since then I do not let him drive anyone anywhere, he can not be trusted, I do not let my youngest one stay home alone with him, he can not be trusted to not pass out. He missed her Christmas show at school, because he was passed out and I would not wake him up. He was angry that I did not wake him up....but as my son said, he is missing the whole point, had he not been drunk he would not have passed out....how true that is.
I am going back to school so that I can earn a paycheck, it might take me a few months, but I am going to be free of this crap...no one should have to live this way. My husband is not the man I married, it is heartbreaking and he can't/doesn't want to see it at all.
Welcome, looks like this is the right place for you. If you can, try to get to face to face alanon meetings, what you hear there, and the literature you can get, will really help.
Your story about the denial sure sounded familiar - my husband always acted as if there was something seriously wrong with ME, for expecting him to drive sober.
Welcome to MIP!! I think you will find the answers you seek by reading and posting here and by reading Alanon literature. My AH has used and still uses many excuses to justify his using but the truth is he doesn't need an excuse he's an A. Its tough when they seem to check out of the family without actually checking out. There are many times that we leave AH home because he just doesn't feel like getting out with us, I honestly don't believe its because he doesn't want to be with us, he just feels so crappy about himself and his situation he'd rather stay home and vege out in front of the t.v. or sleep, or get high. You can regain a sense of sanity and normalcy regardless of whether he continues to drink or not. This program will show you how if you let it. Keep coming back, you will find all the support you need to get through these times with the help of this program.
Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Hate that you & your family have been affected by the disease of alcoholism. But glad that you are taking steps to take care of YOU.
I do hope that you will continue to visit with us on MIP, read Al-Anon literature, attend meetings (f2f or on-line), and find recovery friends that you can talk with.
Don't give up before the miracles happen in you - You deserve them.
Peace, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
