My AH decided last night that he was going to leave.  And not just leave but leave TOWN. He is thinking about moving to Arkansas (his sister lives there) or Kentucky (his dad lives there).  He is planning on being gone today by the time I get home from work.

All of this came about b/c he did some work around my house Saturday (like hauled the trailer of trash & broken appliances to the dump).  All day long he was acting very affectionate towards me and was in very good spirits.  When he hugged me, I didn't push him away but didn't really hug him back. Same w/kisses and hand holding.  Well, at the end of the day he asked for some lovin'.  I was like, "What?".  He said he had done all this stuff for me and he was hoping I would make love to him that night.  I couldn't believe it.  Well actually I could.  I kind of felt like he was asking me to be his private hooker.  Ya know, do a little work for me and his payment would be sex.  I told him no.  That it would just muddy the waters.  He of course launched into the ol' Men have to have it! speech that I used to hear back in high school.

So without rehashing that whole episode, I will skip to Sunday.  He woke up w/his butt on his shoulders.  He did some more stuff around the house......I was gone 1/2 the day.  When I got home, I found he had drilled a hole into the wall to hang up my shelves in my closet & he hit the electrical wiring to my air handler.  Now if any of you remember any old posts of mine, you'll remember that I had LOADS of problems w/my air handlers & heat pumps in my other house & was fed up to my ears w/the troubles.  So NOW, in my new house, out of all the wires in the wall to hit, he hits the one to my freakin' air handler.  I understand it was an accident but I was still frustrated.  I didn't yell at him or really so much about it at all.  I just stroked out the check to pay the electrician that luckily was available to fix it on a Sunday night.

Later that night, my AH came into the living room and started out pretty nicely about how he was going to leave town.  The longer he talked, the more angry he got.  Before I knew it, he was cursing like crazy about how I make him feel b/c I won't have sex with him.  And how I make him feel like less of man b/c of it.  And how great he is.  And how he hopes I find myself another man or a few and realize how great he was, how lucky I was to have him b/c he may go off on his crack binges but at least he doesn't beat me or treat me like crap. 

I was proud of myself everyone. I didn't strike back at all.  I just told him I was sorry that he felt that way and it was not my intention to hurt him by not having sex.  He acted like it was punishment I was giving him.  I let him know that I just wasn't prepared to go there.  That we both needed to work on ourselves and sex would only muddy the waters.  He said he was leaving town b/c he couldn't even see me and not want to have sex w/me and he couldn't live that way. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I think that is a bit weak.  And I am thinking it was all mind games.  Of course he is thinking I am playing mind games too.

He asked for my wedding rings.  He said that if I wasn't going to wear them, he wanted them back. So I handed them over. I would have liked to keep them but oh well....not worth a fight - or making the current one worse.  So I gave them to him.  If he sells them for drugs, so be it.  I don't think he will but who knows.

He had said at bedtime last night that he'd be out of here by Tues or Wed.  When I woke this morning, he said he'd be gone before I got home from work.  He had some things to wrap up before leaving....like finishing the leaves outside that he started on Saturday, patching the whole in the wall of my closet where the electrician had to fix the electrical wires and a couple of other things.  I was going to have him sign the divorce papers too but dang it - IT'S PRESIDENTS DAY and the banks are closed so I have no one who can notorize them.  I told him this and he said that he'd be back in town after a while for a visit (or so he said) and that we could get them signed then. Whatever - I have a year to do that anyway.  I just wanted to get him to do it while he was agreeable to walking away from everything.  Hopefully he will remain agreeable.  We'll see on that.

So that is the latest update.  And I am hoping that when I get home, HE IS IN FACT GONE!  I am so tired of the stress of it all.  Thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
QOD