The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
after my momentary lapse in sanity [aaaagggghhhh, i am screaming inside], i woke up this morning feeling emotionally flat. after a life time of playing out a soul piercing drama of emotional behavior, i am finding change comes with a surprising result. dullness!!! boredom!!! what does one replace drama with. well.........., reality for sure. it has been suggested by some kind hearted soul that i hang from a cliff by a branch and wait for my higher power speak. since this is exactly the kind of dramatic behavior i am trying to change, i have decided to live quietly in my little house on the prairie [not to many cliffs here] and, wait for the personal fullfillment of my higher power. i am aware, it takes time to renew the spirit of the mind. it is those moments without intense emotional activity in them that bore me. it is the aching dullness i find frightening. until i become truly aware of who i am and what i am, i will try, ONE DAY AT A TIME to remember........., ''in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.'' [isaiah 30:15]
Well, this is where you fill up your life with program. Your local general service office always needs volunteers. Newcomers to al anon always need rides. Check the womens shelters--often times these women are eager to participate in al anon, but have no way to get there. Get with your sponsor and dive into the steps. Take in extra al anon meetings, or, failing the availibility, open AA meetings. And should you, after doing all of this, STILL have extra time (how, fill me in), your community I doubt is perfect. The local elementary school no doubt has one or two students that could benefit from an extra pair of hands to run off copies, tutor children in reading, help keep the ADHD student on track with the "massively overwhelming" project they've been assigned about Black History Month. The local women's shelter, too, needs an extra pair of hands. So does the soup kitchen. So does the red cross--they'll be happy to certify, at what I believe is at a reduced cost (don't quote me, here) their volunteers. And of course, the local colleges are registering for their next term (assuming its a quarter system)--use it or lose it!
jewel... the flatness you describe can be hard as you leave the drama...for me, what has helped me during my healthier drama- free times, has been to have an actual list of the things that i need to do and of things that i know will renew my spirit and restore my balance....i then refer to that list when i start to dip into the "boredom" and use it to remind me of what to do....it really has worked for me. eventually you will find so much more energy in the dullness....just keep going! i am proud of you for the hard work you are doing...can you believe how difficult it is ?!
in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength....how true. for me those quiet times are my strongest and clearest i love and trust them
i do however realize that more often than i would like, those quiet times follow a moment of drama/upheaval i love the peace and quiet of the aftermath, but do i need the war to get there? it feels so unhealthy to me...that kind of pattern
here's to just letting that peace and quiet come of its own free will here's to letting it come through god, as it does
these days i am stuck/addicted to the drama and i am Hating it.....
I know exactly what ya mean jewely .... all those years of crisis and chaos .... when we so wished for some peace and quiet .... then it hits ....and we have no idea what to do with it. That's why so often we find another A or whatever to "fill that void" of what we are "used to". It's the unknown thats scary for us.
I'm still struggling with that my friend.... so if ya do find that branch??? ..... I'll try to be under it to catch ya! Love and hugs, Irish
Wow I can relate to finding the drama pretty normal. I can also relate to feeling temendously isolated and alone. I think the other al anon member was actually speaking metaphorically rather than literally. No one here is going to suggest you do anything you don't want to do. Suggestions are just that for you to pick up or say not now thank you.
I find myself more and more liking a slower pace of life and people I would not have normally have related to. My life was one big rollercoaster most of the time, with the A, without the A. I grew up in that, I know that. I know how to live in that. For me learning how to live differently is a big big challenge. Nevertheless for my mental health and for my physical health I need to do that.
I'm glad you are taking care of yourself however you may do that.
You don't sit an wait for your higher power to make u happy , u do the footwork start working on becomming who u want to be and leave the out come to God. Small goals one at a time do the trick . get off your duff girl and start rebuilding your life . sounds to me like your in the HOW DO U MANAGE WHEN THERE IS NO ONE LEFT TO MANAGE mode. well as someone told me well dear now U get a life !!!!!! How profound is that . ???
''how profound is that''?????? very profound indeed !!!! and, when MY higher power tells me to get off my duff............, i will stop painting my house, babysitting my grandaughter, managing our company books, taking care of insurance after hitting a deer, takinig vehicle for major repairs after hitting deer, stop tending to farm animals, stop hauling in wood [we live in a part of the country where there are no gas lines] tonight it is -30 below, stop going to doctor for check-up on injuries after hitting the deer, stop going to Al-anon meetings.........., hmmmmmm, i may have forgot to mention a thing or two.[like eating, sleeping, praying, meditating] thank you so much for compliment of ''girl''. with my 47th birthday coming up in less than two weeks, i appreciate it !!!!
many blessings and loads of happy thoughts and prayers to you abbyal. jewely
