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So I went today to get a copy of the police report and it said basically nothing so I decided to stop by the motel he was arrested at. The girl talked THANK GOD and said that a girl had come running in to the lobby in her tshirt and underwear hysterical saying somone had just raped her (my A) and he was arrested. The hotel lady gave me the address to contact her and a bag of his stuff left in the room. I also heard he received his restraining order :)
I'm am totally and completely DONE with this man now. If there was ever a sliver of hope that we would reunite it is forever gone now!!! I have tried contacting the woman, she lives several hours away from here, and I am still waiting to hear from the arresting officer but all in all it looks like a pretty bad situation. They had been staying there a couple of days too. That kinda hurt but also made me wonder how many other times on runners he had been shacked up in motels with other women??
For the first time I will get at the whole truth or as nearly to it as possible and I think reality BITES!!! But it's better than being an ostrich I guess. It still hurts, his last redeeming quality was my illusion of fidelity and now that's gone too!
Got invited to party here this weekend and have all weekend booked up already. Things are looking up here and I'm starting to fit in!
What a horrible thing to uncover. It definitely sounds like a new bottom for the A. I am suprized if he is charged with rape that he can get bail. Generally with violent issues the bail is high.
I wonder if they reduced the charge. I have, as a back up got a lot of the A's traffic and police reports regarding the truck for the day when I take it. I think you are wise to get as much information as you can and in particular the documentation. It doesn't sound like your A is going to get out of this one and maybe that is what he wants to not be out there at all and be locked up so he can't act out anymore.
carolinagirl wrote: his last redeeming quality was my illusion of fidelity and now that's gone too!
Got invited to party here this weekend and have all weekend booked up already. Things are looking up here and I'm starting to fit in!
First I want to say that I'm very sorry that you had to go through this, life just doesn't seem very fair at all. I am a little, tiny, teensy, weensy bit happy (should I even be saying this?) that you are getting some of the closure that you deserve. It seems like we can look the other way about this or find a way to deal with that, but some things are just so cut and dry that there's no explaining it away.
I have often thought there there were two things lines that my A hasn't crossed that have been the saving grace- 1. He has never beat me up 2. He has never cheated on me Of course there has always been the potential for both, and I've often wondered, if the time came, would I have te stregnth to do what needs to be done? You seem to be setting a great example. Keep up the good work. Jamie
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
Sorry it all turned out this way. But at least there is a clear path for you now. I don't know if you need to find out the sorted details for some type of closure....? But if not, just try to move forward and know that this is a part of your life, and it is what it is. I hope you can learn from it and carry on as best you can in the manner that best serves your recovery..
Take care Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
CG, I must agree with Christy's take on this...Do you really need to know the sordid details in order to put this in perspective and go on? As Christy also said, you have a clear path now. Dear One, I am so sorry you are having to go through this mightmare. Be assured all of us are keeping you in our good thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Wow, this guy's bottom keeps gettin lower and lower. I'm glad you're startin to feel as if you fit into your community. Please keep us posted as to what's going on with your family. Given the allegations, I'm GRAVELY CONCERNED for the children--I'm loathe to think a judge would put their safety at risk. ((CG)) Please keep working your program! You're seeing the dividends!
I have to agree with what's been a said a few times - at least now you aren't likely to be second guessing yourself, wondering if you are being too hard on him. Small comfort, I know, but clarity is better than confusion. I suppose having all the details will be useful in working out custody, but don't feel you have to torture yourself - be just as strong as you are, you don't have to live up to some ideal.
(((((((((Carolinagirl)))))))) I echo those who shared above me. Please be reassured that we are here for you in these difficult times. I hope you go to meetings and perhaps you have a sponsor you can speak with. Right now focus on YOU. Take care.
