The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Live has been full of hills and valleys these days...sometimes I get so tired of climbing them and other times I am as happy to be in the valley for awhile...enjoying life
Job is going very well, kids well.....another story...they just don't give me the respect they gave thier dad and that is a fact...maybe I am just to easy...It is really upsetting me....zach's grades are for shit....and no more excuses except he is lazy...and doesn't give a crap....well I have decided my way or sit on your damn bed until you bend...lol....anyway...Samantha...lazy again...grades are fine, a good kid, just chores with her.....she just seems to ignore me....lol...she misses her dad really bad...she asked me if I would please take her to see him...
So, how do I do this....yuk....don't want to see him...but I guess for her, I will...I don't know this has been driving me crazy.....
Met a really nice guy, just a friend...I could see more maybe, for now the friendship is a good thing...gotta figure out my life for awhile...
Sending you lots of love and prayers as always. Don't know what to tell you about your teenagers. I can barely handle Pipers Kitty!
Here's hoping Samantha's visit goes well with her Dad. Any chance you can find another relative to take her to see him, if you don't want to? I certainly can understand you not wanting to see him just yet. Give that time. I'd still be raw from the hurt. I seem to be knowing those hills and valleys really well these days. I, the usual cock-eyed optimist is not so cock-eyed these days. (Was that English I just wrote?) Sometimes I wish it would be one or the other.
Hang in there dearest friend. Glad you've found another friend. Platonic male friendships are always useful. I use to call them "rent-a-husbands" to help me with things I couldn't do for myself. They were pretty handy. Their friendship, like your, invaluable.
Love and many blessings to you and the family.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Quite often here lately I have found myself feeling like I don't have much strength or hope to share ...... but really running over (or ran over) with experience.
Dealing with the children is probably the hardest part of this disease. Not only do we have to try to help them with their own issues, but we have to try to do this while we are still struggling with our own!! Mades it a lot harder.
I am still dealing with my adult children who have their own issues stemming from their alcoholic/drug dealer father. while also trying to help raise my grandchildren who have issues from their parents who had issues with their parents .... and so on down the line.
Obviously, I have felt like it all came down on my shoulders. So, I feel like I have a lot of experience, but sometimes it's harder to feel like I have a lot of hope and strength to share.
But the fact is, I'm still here!!! That has to mean something.....I think it might mean God is still teaching me and working through me in His own way.
My biggest piece of "advice" for you is never give up .... although none of us have all the answers, there is strength and hope in numbers ... that's why we all need each other so. Each day we are reminded that in our own power we can accomplish nothing, talking to God each day is the only thing I know to do .... trusting that He will guide us all. Coming here and gaining strength from this family group helps me so.
I think the grief process for many of us is complicated. I would not be suprized your children's grades are down. They have had much distraction. I am also not suprized your children want to see their Dad. I think there is a negotiating phase in any grief process. I would imagine they are still in there waiting for him to be a "Dad" phase. I did that with my own parents who were never "there".
I am glad so much has gone your way lately. I can imagine having a new job helps. I know it helps me. Nevetheless as you often say this is a crawl space before we walk. I know for me letting go of the A is a long job. There is a physical letting go then an emotional letting go too. I see his alcholism very clearly these days in ways I did not before.
I can totally relate to those hills and valleys. I've certainly experienced them. One of our Pastors said that we are either in the midst of a storm, or just coming out of a storm, or just going into a storm. Some storms are mild, some are a bit stronger, and some are devastating. Basically the message was to trust God through it all. He will carry us, when we can't do it.
I'm glad that your job is going well. I know how tough it is to parent teens, especially on your own. I will pray for God's extra grace in that area for you. Hang in there and know you have support.
As always, you and family are in my prayers.... love ya, mel123
