The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP! I'm traveling this week, so my posting timing is a bit off.
The reading in Courage to Change for today is one of my very favorites.
One beautiful day, a man sat down under a tree, but did not notice that the tree was full of pigeons. After a while, the pigeons did what pigeons do, and the man shouted at them and stormed away. After a while, the man considered that the pigeons had been doing what pigeons do because they are pigeons, not because they intended to mess his clothing and not because he was there.
Active alcoholics are like pigeons. They do not drink because of anything in particular, they drink because they are active alcoholics. No matter what I do, shares the author, do not do, whether I am there or not there, is not going to keep an alcoholic from drinking. I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it. The author shares that they can continue to struggle and lose, or they can accept their powerlessness over alcohol and alcoholism, and allow AlAnon to redirect their energy toward recovering from the effect of the disease.
Today's reminder: It's not easy to watch someone I love continue to drink, but I can do nothing to stop them. If I see how unmanageable my life has become, I can admit that I am powerless over this disease. Then I Can really begin to make my life better.
Today's Quote: "It stands to reason that a change in us will be a force for good that will help the entire family." How can I help my Children
------------------------------------
This reading, early on in my program, helped me to understand how really powerless I was over the disease, and how little influence I had over my AW's drinking. Thinking of her as a pigeon helped me to stop shouting at her when she was drinking, or trying other futile ways to control her drinking. With time and work in the program, thinking of myself as someone else's pigeon helped me to let go of guilt about my imagined impact of my decisions on someone else. I have to make decisions and choices at work that impact others directly, and I found myself fearful or guilt ridden about my imagined impact on them and their families, until I really dug into my program and committed to clear communication and letting natural consequences play out. With time, when I let natural consequences play out, I started to see myself as a pigeon, and that allowed me to let go of my guilt about being the one to enforce or allow natural consequences for poor behavior. I could be compassionate and understanding without being a push-over. And that is why I really love this reading.
This week I am at a conference, and will be enjoying the peace and calm of a hotel room to myself. A Great opportunity to get away, learn something new, and recharge.
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi I agree this reading really spoke to me many years ago when i first entered program. It suggested that if I wanted peace and security in my home, i needed to pick up new tools to live by. It was a process and did take time but I am so pleased that I listened and trusted the process.
Thanks for your service and I hope you have great day
Thank you Skorpi for Today's C2C and for your service. I love this reading as it helps me to keep things in perspective. Maybe I can learn to admire the beautiful tree and listen to the birds from a safe distance.
Good morning MIP - thank you skorpi for the daily and your service. Thanks to all for your shares and ESH. This too is one reading that always makes me smile when I read it...it remind me that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
I must readily admit I am a bit frightened by birds! Many years ago, I had an apartment and somehow (chimney?) a bird got in. I opened the patio door fully hoping it would just fly out, and that darn bird had another plan. It flew around for a while, squawking the whole time, did some close to me fly-by patterns and then finally figured it out and flew away.
I do believe today that it's perfectly OK - maybe even awesome to know I am powerless over others. It's taken a while to find relief in that belief, yet it's there. I sit with my aging parents and 'want' different for them. Yet, they truly appear to be at peace most of the time, so who am I to think I know a better way for them?
This disease is powerful but with a program, faith in a HP and willingness, we can thrive in spite of it. Make it a great day all...happy Hump Day!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for your service, Skorpi, thanks for all the ESH too. The pigeon story is a really good one, I hadn't read it before... Also a good thought to consider is that I am like a pigeon to others, just doing what I do because I am a pigeon and have my own pigeon business to do. With the program's help I think I can be a less harmful pigeon to others. I will try to remember this story when any of the As in my life do what As do... Hi to all :)
