Today's reading talks about care-taking and enabling.  The writer suggests that even as a child, she had grown-up responsibilities.  This taught her to give to others first and to dive into any crisis without any thoughts of self.  In recovery, she learned that this was a form of self-destructiveness, and set out to wipe out all such behavior and attitudes - desiring to instead become self-involved and uncaring.  

She failed fortunately!  Years later, she's still a caretaker and probably will always be but now views it as an asset when not extreme.  She chooses to no longer do for others what they can/could do for themselves, yet practices nurturing self and others.  Al-Anon helped her find balance in the learned behavior of her upbringing so that it can be a valued characteristic instead.

Today's reminder --  Today I will try not to condemn parts of myself while accepting other parts.  I am a composite, and I love myself best when I embrace all that I am.

Today's quote --  from Mahatma Gandhi --  "My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet."

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I can relate to the desire/approach to be opposite of who/how I was before!  I arrived at recovery with very black/white thinking and assumed that what I knew, thought and believed was the best route for others.  Al-Anon gave me shades of gray processing as well as the awareness that I truly do not know what is best for anyone - self included.  It is through the spiritual growth I experience when practicing this program that my path becomes known, and I still have the choice each day to follow it or not.

I did way more than I should have for my boys.  From simple to complex, I did 'it' as I thought that was the only way it would be done 'right'.  Today I realize that my best intentions were not of service but instead were my attempt to control.  I still at times feel the need to bite my tongue or sit on my hands so they can follow their own path....yet each time I trust the process, program and HP - things do turn out much better than how it used to be.

I am one who believes our character defects we identify in recovery are actually assets that we exploited.  I do not believe these are exploited with ill intent, but rather with good intentions and perceived love.  My own insanity caused by this disease fogged my brain to where I could not accept this in myself.  That fog cleared with the program, steps, sponsor, etc.  Practice, practice, practice - not only do I see me differently, I see others differently.  As I worked on balance in me, my compassion for others improved as well as my ability to accept unconditionally what 'is' vs. what I want to be.

Happy Friday MIP!  Our temperatures are above freezing so the rain that fell overnight did not freeze (yay!!).  I've got a bunch of errands as I've been hibernating this week.  Make it a great day and stay safe/warm...(((hugs)))