The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Detachment: The writer comments that detachment is easy with casual friends, but not with loved ones. He says that with family, he is likely to take on their negative frame of mind. He says he needs to pay attention to his own mood, so he does not take on the mood of someone else.
Today's Reminder: If I pause for a moment before focusing on someone else's mood, I may find out that I have feelings of my own that deserve attention. I will look for those moments to checking with myself today.
Quote from Detachment: Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another's behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.
Oh how I struggled to gain detachment from my A. It took several years of program to accomplish this. And it's not that I'm perfect at it, but progress counts! My next goal is to detach from my son in a healthy way. I see that I can be affected by his mood or anger and I will strive to reach this new goal. Lyne
Hello Lyne i agree detachment is s powerful tool of recovery which may be at times difficult to master but once understand and embraced can serve as a continual principle to live by . I must always remember to keep the focus on myself, live in the moment and in the day trusting HP
Thank you for your service and have a lovely day.
This mornings reading hit me yesterday. The whole range of ugly emotions......anger, frustration and resentment flooded over me just over a remark made by a loved one on a phone call. I practiced the "pause" and prayed. The emotions faded until later in the evening. I repeated the pause and..........again this morning lol. I love how it says to basically allow them dignity. That hit home for me. It allowed me to fully place it in Gods hands and leave it out of mine.
And what a great reading today! I am still working out how to put myself and my needs first, instead of putting someone else's needs first. With practice, I am getting better at figuring out which emotions belong to me and which do not. It turns out, I'm pretty even keel, so most emotions that are extreme highs and lows are not mine, and knowing that is very helpful
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning all - thank you for the lovely shares and ESH. Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily! Detachment for me can still be difficult when it comes to family. There is the underlying want to fix others or fix things for others. And - I realize sometimes it's the little things that get my going....the little people were to spend the night, giving mom/dad a break and a sleepover with grandma. The babe was just not having it, so my son and his gal came over to pick them up with ice/snow falling. In spite of our tools and my commitment to recovery, I got sad, felt inferior again and had to process how 'normal' this is and that it was OK!!
I am so grateful for what we get when we work on recovery. I am reminded yet again that I am powerless over people, places and things - even a 2 year old who loves me deeply and that love is returned. Detaching from my own thinking at times as well as others keeps me on my toes.
Happy Monday all - make it a great day! It's still cold here but we are to have some spring weather later in the week. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
