The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Feelings vs Facts: Today's reading talks about there being a difference between feelings and facts. Feelings are not facts, and therefore one should not let feelings dictate his/her actions. The writer says that we are complex human beings and we are more than just one feeling or one problem. He says you can love someone you are angry with, you can survive being hurt without giving up on love, and you can be sad yet know that you will be happy again.
Today's Reminder: Today I am learning to embrace my complexities and contradictions and to be grateful for the richness they bring.
Quote from Rose Macaualay: Life, for all its agonies...is exciting and beautiful, amusing and artful and endearing...and whatever is to come after it---we shall not have this life again.
It took me years to accept that I could love someone I am angry with. My thinking used to be so black and white. There was no middle or gray area. Anger meant anger, period, end of story. Now with program I see that I can really dislike some of my A's behavior, but can still love her and have compassion. The quote reinforces the concept that parts of life are brutal and agonizing, as I just put my dog down with cancer. Yet when I see a chipmunk run across the rocks I feel grateful and happy to see that beautiful little creature, Lyne
Hello Lyne thanks for this great reminder. i know when i entered program I was convinced that "Feelings were facts" and reacted to each one instantly . Program gave me different tools, explaining that feelings although very important, should be processed, shared and responded to and not reacted to. Love how program has given me the tools to feel my feelings, embrace them , and then respond knowing that I need to look for the facts of a situation and act accordingly.
Remembering that feelings are not facts is very useful to me, because feelings can be felt and let go, facts are what should bring me to action. Before entering AlAnon, I found myself constantly acting on and making decisions on emotions, and that wasn't working out very well for me. Recognizing the difference between facts and emotions has helped me recognize what I am feeling, feel it, let it pass, and then decide on the facts and take appropriate action.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning MIP family. Thank you Lyne for the daily and your service. Thank you Betty, Skorpi and Lyne for your shares and ESH. I was a huge reactor before Al-Anon recovery so clearly I led with my emotional state....unfortunately for those around me, my go to emotion was rage and anger, which was more fear-based than I ever knew. An overwhelming fear of projected outcomes and repeated drama kept me insanely reactive for a while.
I had to practice just not talking. I had to practice deep breathing. I had to learn to walk away. All of these better prepared me to fully understand that how I feel should not be the driving fact for my next step. I can say it's not always easy to pause and consider facts yet today through practice, I do know the outcomes are way better when I do!
So, so grateful for Al-Anon recovery and all of you. Happy Monday all - make it a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
hey (((Betty))) love what you say about feelings being important and needing processing and sharing and RESPONSE, not Reaction..I was very reactive...knee jerk...move w/out thinking....now I am a bit better at stopping...deep breathing, getting out of my head and into my body and re- examining the data/event that has arisen and whats the next RIGHT thing to do about it if anything?? sometimes just be with my feelings and do nothing is the right thing....if I am really affected, I reach out and call someone......
