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Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change October 11

~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 699
Courage to Change October 11

Good morning, MIP! 

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about understanding vs. living. The author shares that, when they first came to Al-Anon, they used the tool of over-analysis to try to understand the program. They kept their mind busy with these questions, but their analysis did not make life any better. Going to meetings, reading Al-Anon literature, and rehearsing the 12 steps helped the author catch on to the work that needed to be done in the program. When they stopped analyzing every aspect of the program and began to live life by the principles of the program, things started to make sense and positive change happened. 

Today's reminder asks us to consider whether analyzing our situations provide us with any useful insights, or whether we are using over-analysis as a tool in our attempt to control the uncontrollable.  

Today's Quote is from Soren Kierkegaard: "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lives forwards." 


This reading really spoke to me and my start in the AlAnon program. I am a professional, trained, over-thinker. I believe in the scientific method of experimentation, and those two things got me into a serious cycle of denial about the alcoholic in my life and my relationship with her. Al-Anon didn't make a lot of sense to me at first. How could this program help, when everything else I had tried had failed? Desperation helped me to try using the tools and principles of the program, and seeing the positive impact on my life kept me working the program. 

I often wonder "What would I do differently if I knew then what I know now?" Probably get started with Al-Anon sooner, lol! But each experience I have had comes together to make me the person I am today, and so I wouldn't be me today if I hadn't experienced those sometimes painful opportunities for growth. My work in Al-Anon keeps me growing and changing and becoming a better me, sometime I am very thankful for. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful day! The rain we have had is supposed to ease up today, so I see some quality time with my lawn mower and the "ski slope" (AKA "yard") in my future! Hopefully the last time before snow flies.  



If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu

~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 8690

Good morning Skorpi - thank you for your service and for the daily. Great ESH and I can so relate. Countless times, I've been in the mind-set of, "If only I knew then what I know now...." and that's just not a good place for me to hang out. It brings about the overthinking and the self-bashing of I should have known better.

Recovery has given me the chance to change up how I process. When 'life' happens, I now try to look at 'what just happened' to learn from it. Simple, pure, educational opportunity gifted to me from HP. Trust me when I say there are times where I add an eye-roll/tears/anger to the event yet I really do try and learn.

So glad that all I'm asked to consider is this day only. We've got overcast skies and much cooler weather. I spent yesterday sorted through the winter/suffer clothing items and am pleased to say I am dressed for fall! I've got a phone call @ 10 with my sponsor, meeting at noon and softball @ 6:30 & 7:30. Truly, it's the softball that drove the seeking for warmer clothes - playing in spring and fall can be quite cold. Usually on Wednesdays, I have my little people spend the night yet I don't expect that for today. It is what it is and I can only learn and hope for different/better.

Make it a great day all - (((hugs))) from my neck of the woods!


Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene



Veteran Member

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Posts: 64

Great topic Skorpi Thank you , I love how ALANON really does understand my disease and then offers great tools to help to overcome them.
Everytime I find myself about to "over analyze" a situation, I remind myself to utilize alanon tools and stop analyzing.

Love the quote and have found it to be so true.

Thanks for your service

PS this is hotrod I forgot my password and I re registered


I pray that I may keep my eyes trained above the horizon of myself: I pray that I may see infinite possibilities for spiritual growth. 

~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 728

THank you for this, Skorpi!

This concept got me every time! I am college educated... science/lab background, so yea, I like the research... the "discovery" of it all. So in the beginning, I was resistant to most "old-timers" who told me to quit analyzing... b/c I will never truly understand my AH or the disease.
However, I found that in all my research, I DID find information that allowed me to understand the disease. This helped me to get to a place of acceptance, and yes, even compassion for my AH.

But "they" were right about one thing... it can be like a hamster on a wheel trying to understand the things alcoholics/addicts do or say!! It became much easier, and critical for my peace to accept the saying, "That is just what alcoholics/addicts do," instead of trying to understand them or worse yet, try and "make" them understand my reasoning... that was simply impossible! LOL!


Music makes my soul soar!

"The TRUTH is like a lion; you don't have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself." St. Augustine

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