The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my ah will drink, but I cannot control if he does. I am leaving AA schedules around for him and gently encouraging him to go, but know that ultimately its up to him. I hope this is a healthy thing for me to do. I have been reading getting them sober as well. I used to think that this was another way for me to be obsessed with my ah "sobriety", but I am finding out that I need help as well. My kids are quiet and they seem to just want me to forget about all this work and move on to find a better life. They are not interested in learning about the disease or anything at this point. I just have to give that to God. Hope everyone is doing well. Have a great evening.
Thanks for sharing your journey, Kat, I'm glad you're beginning to see how this program works when we work it! I know what you mean by it feeling weird taking care of myself... But it got less weird over time. Be gentle with yourself and trust the process :)
Hello Kat-I hope you are doing the steps with a sponsor or other trusted program friend. As far as I know, it is better to have a mentor helping you with them. I did the steps with a sponsor, and repeated a few of them later, and it was a helpful experience, especially having the sponsor's guidance.
I didn't learn to take care of myself until later in life, and anytime is better than never . However it does feel wierd when you are accustomed to being a caretaker and/or doormat, which was the case with myself. I've given the doormat club and put myself first when I want to or need to. Life feels much better since having 4 Yr's in Alanon, Lyne
(((Kat))) - huge hugs to you....it was also 'different' and 'unnatural' for me when I first started. Everyone who came before me suggested to just stay present, not over-analyze anything and roll with it. That was really hard for me too as I was the queen of projection! Taking care of self does get easier with time as does practicing all of the program. Easy Does It is a slogan that many said to me early on.
Betty often suggests gratitude lists and asset lists and I did those religiously when my mind wonders. It does truly help 'see' the good as well as bring me back to present time. Keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
