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Post Info TOPIC: AA or Alanon?


Status: Offline
Posts: 15
AA or Alanon?

A few months ago I started going to 5 Alanon meetings a week, one AA/Alanon split meeting a week, and one AA open speaker mixed meeting a week. I started going to the AA meetings because a rehab friend of my daughter suggested it, so I could get a better perspective of what she is going through. My daughter has been to 6 rehabs, 3 detoxes, and has been in a sober house for the past 2 months. i am a total codependent, but find I'm actually getting better perspective from the AA meetings. Is it ok for me to go to more AA meetings? Has anyone else on this forum done this? 


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 16282

Hello Buckeye Girl It is a good idea to attend a few AA meetings so as to grasp the intensity of the disease and witness authentic recovery. I have done so.

Since I too could be termed a co- dependent, I found that I needed to concentrate on my recovery and place most of my attention on my alanon meetings. It was there that I found a sponsor and a fellowship of equals who understood as few others could. I picked up the slogans and the steps and learned how to detach from the actions of others, keep the focus on myself,my attitudes and actions, explore my assets and uncover my destructive patterns.

Alanon literature does attempt to address the disease for example: "Alcoholism the Family Diseases' and the MerryGoRound named Denial, are a few such treasures.

Keep coming back here as well




~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 8822

Buckeye Girl - we talk often in Al-Anon about examining our motives. For me, having codependent tendencies and control issues, I needed to focus on me vs. them, understanding them, examining their use, relapses, etc. Again, this is/was my experience. I also had to step away from reading/researching about alcoholics and alcoholism as it also distracted me from looking at me, my issues, my thinking/reacting patterns, etc.

A discussion with a sponsor and a look at what you are working on/towards would probably help you determine your program for maximum success in recovery. (((Hugs)))


Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 13719



Buckeye Girl good post and asking questions leads to experience and awareness. At the end of the Al-Anon meetings there is mentioned a guidance statement, "If you keep and open will find help".  That for me is a tool and requirement as alcohol is titled and mind and mood altering chemical and that alcoholism is a disease of the mind, body, spirit and emotions.  

I suggested open AA meetings "with an open mind" and Al-Anon meetings likewise because my experience is that this is how it worked for me.  I even went to college on the disease of alcoholism and addiction and open mindedness allowed me to discover what I know today which keeps me sane and recovery.   Yes the questions "what are your motives"? are important cause you want to be there for the right reasons.  My early participation included wanting to know how I could control my alcoholic/addict wife and then only part of our problem was that she was chasing my drinking wanting to get me right.  I didn't know at that time that I was also alcoholic or that I was born and raised in the disease.

Take your time, take notes, take the opportunity to ask questions and learn about Buckeye are all you have.  Follow the guidelines for the meetings for both programs when you are there and keep the traditions.   

In support of your search.  (((((hugs))))) aww


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 122

It's my experience and belief that any room where the 12 Steps are being faithfully worked is a good place to be.

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