LINKS

Al-Anon Group Home Page
Al-Anon Group Meeting/Chat Room
Site Technical Problems or Questions?
Step Work Board - A Step each week!
Online Meeting Schedules


Al-Anon Family Group
Message Board

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"Real" Al-Anon Meeting Directory


A new step every two weeks in the order they were written!


Al-Anon's 12 Steps & 12 Traditions

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change (C2C) 6/15/17


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7348
Date:
Courage to Change (C2C) 6/15/17


Today's reading talks about sarcasm and how many of us use this to cut down others.  Often, it's habit and we don't readily see how damaging and unhealthy it is as a response or reaction to what is going on around us.  Often we feel it justified and 'scoring a hit' when we use it as a response to anger or frustration.  

Each of us has to determine how we wish to behave, yet healthy recovery suggests sarcasm is a habit we try to let go.  When we feel helpless or angry, perhaps better choices include:  going to a meeting, journaling, talk to a sponsor or trusted program friend, prayer/quiet reflection - just to name a few....

It does feel good to let it out and it does help us to let go and let God when we can.  Responding in a healthier way leads to better choices and a calmer life.

Today's reminder ---  Most of us carry more than our share of shame.  I will no add to the problem by using cruel, clever words to humiliate a fellow human being.  In doing so, I would be shaming myself.

Today's quote ---  "Everyone in an alcoholic situation deserves and needs extra loving care."  from Living With Sobriety

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I came from a FOO that used sarcasm often.  It most certainly was stated to ridicule the other and/or put them down.  It's a long-standing habit I grew up with that allows me to deflect my real feelings of uncertainty, insanity, frustration, etc.  I had concerns about letting go of 'this' habit as it was such a huge part of 'me'.

What this program showed me through active participation and step work is being true to me and speaking my truth in a respectful way was a much healthier habit to adopt.  I've worked hard to use the pause to formulate better responses when I am unsettled/uncertain.  I slip when pressured at times, and then get frustrated with myself...

For me, keeping the focus on me and who I want to be works well in recovery.  When I begin to examine others, my slip towards old habits is closer than desired.  Who I am today and how I respond has nothing to do with other's and everything to do with me.  I am grateful for the grace and dignity this program gives to us who work it.

Make it a great day MIP family - I woke up with either a migraine or a severe sinus head-ache.....grateful I have a quiet uneventful day in front of me.  (((Hugs))) to all!



__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 15130
Date:

Good morning IAH love the topic and your share. When I first arrived in Al-Anon many of my destructive tools and glaring defects were evident and accepted by me as a  clever way to interact in the world. Sarcasm was one of these tools which I learned in my family of origin very early on. It just  seem to come naturally to all of us.

One morning at work to a coworker and using my best sarcastic tone and words. When I stopped for a moment and experienced the expression on her face, which was surprized and sad.  It was then that I realized my" sarcasm" was  not funny and but hurtful.

Thank goodness I was in Al-Anon, I did a 10th step amend with her and then asked HP to remove this defect.  I actually saw how it did tear flesh.

Today I am happy to say, that I am kinder, gentler in my interactions  in the world.  It may not appear clever or smart.however , this is not important to me in the longe.

Thanks for the topic. I do hope your injuries healing



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 134
Date:

Thank you Iamhere for your service, before recovery I used sarcasm as my go to tool to cause hurt and pain to others because I was hurt and in pain, that was my sick thinking, I went looking for opportunities to bring others down with my words, crazy. The program teaches us HP's will brings us serenity and for me today I choose to practice the "pause" if and when I'm feeling inner turbulence to check that my words have loving intentions so I can be sure I'm behaving with dignity and respect to myself and fellow human beings.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day. It is dark and overcast where I am and I can hear thunder in the background as I read everyone's shares, it is very calming :)

__________________

- Carrie

Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 766
Date:

This is a great Topic,I never realized just how much I've used sarcasm,
Since my recovery,I've been practicing smiling lots more( smiling looked easy,yet so hard).not use to it.
These are all new discoveries,that I'm been really enjoying this new life,surprised faces on others when I see them,most of all all the positives I'm seeing also,
I'm be working harder on sarcasm after reading this daily,I'm not so sure that sarcasm is gone from me,I stay most part positive,and keep on smiling and doing the next (right) thing,helps me with all my interactions with others,and myself.
Thanks for this daily IAH .
Dog earing this page for later ......

__________________

Do the next right thing~

I've never regretted taking the high road. ~

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us