The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today marks the 4th month of no chaos or Drama in my home or around me ,
1st time in my lifetime,it was a part of me ,never served me in anyway ,repeats of crises on going,along with lots of negative feelings ,lots of health problems coming on ,
i ended up with diverticulitis ,not fun,excrutiating pain of my abdomen,
today im feeling much better,the diverticulitis has stopped completely,
still have nausea ,not as much.
my life has been ,is still taken a 360 to the serener way of life.
it is new ways to learn,new behaviors etc,etc,
i grabbed a hold of alanon grasping with all fours,not letting go,
still not letting go,
alanon 12 steps ,sponsors,readings anything cal,researching,studying,to get myself where I needed to be at the time,which was saving my life I had reached that point to where it was either my life or getting into me a recovery program all my own,which I made it this far ,thank you hp,and Alanon for sincerely saving my life( now I'm crying),good happy tears now .
its one day at a time ,min,or sec.start over anytime I want,hp knows how I mess up.
im holding on to all that I know and learned ,TRUSTING in the Process.
this is a big change ,I know change is good,
still working on me a little here ,little there,until I get to where I want to be.
its not all bad living alone,although I do get lonesome ,then I turn to music,tv,tons of reading,
like my avatar says ,,,I don't need or want to go back to what broke me,that's a constant reminder to me today.
and knowing that I'm not alone helps to,
im beginning to get out there as in amongst healthy ppl,it's beginning to look like a whole new world ,a better world than I onced knew it .
im usually hanging around here mostly in the background reading ,
ive begun to try my wings as to see how much program has helped me,
all I can say is Wow,it's helped in amazing ways,I'm happier,I'm smiling,I'm positive about everything,
im enjoying life lots better ,I look for healthy in everything .
i thank all of y'all for sharing this Journey with me as well,
ive enjoyed shareing yalls journey as well.......LU
lookingup,
I am glad you are feeling better. I had to make big changes in my life three years ago to find peace and serenity. My A is an ex and not only did I have to break up with him but I also had to change many of my friends too. I spent this weekend with my son , grandson, and three cats. It was not very exciting but it was quiet and I was in control of my environment. I am still a little afraid to make new friends and spend a lot of time by myself. I am ok with that for now, it all takes time. Alanon has really helped me though.
what a difference it makes to be free of the alcoholic who waas in my life. I had an episode of chest pain/other symptoms. My boyfriend took me to the ER. I thought of the many times i sat with the EX while he laid dehydrated but complaining in a er bed, scheming to smoke,rude to all, nasty to me while the doc looked at me and asked me why i put up with it. etc The few times i was in er, the ex disapeared to mope,smoke, etc
As I said what a difference 1 1/2 yrs makes. my boyfriend sat by my side, made me smile,reassured me, talked and even rescheduled his work so he can take me Tuesday for my stress test.
Thanks HP and you pals here and alanon, for my serenity, peace,love i have which im so grateful for. moving in with boyfriend in 2 weeks. soooooo happy
Thank you Betty,no more silent for sure,moving forward to better ,happier,ways of living my life,
Thank You shmp, I do love ,enjoy being in control of my inviroment ,I have to admit it was so very hard letting go of some of the freinds I had ,I did let go eventually,had no choice but to let go,I still love them from a distance same way I love my foo.
Thank you yarn, I am so relieved to be able to put all that in my past to ,hopeing I never go back for more,
All the er trips I've made with 2 xabf,hospital stays,jails,prisons ,running from police,hiding them out,nursing them back to health every time he get sick ,many times ,I recall one time I got very sick with a cracked tooth that absessed thinking my xabf would be there for me after all the times over I was there for him he would always say he would be there for me ,I never got sick,at that time just the one time with my tooth ,couldn't drive,xabf did drive me to dr,let me out and left,then I learned it was all about them,
I had got sick of all the lies,no win sit.i would lie to ,to protect myself.
Today I can see lots clearly now,knowing what I do want ,serenity,happiness ,I'm finding all that an more ,learning lots about me,
Such great esh here,I love it.
Yarn,I'm so happy you have someone that's good to you,you so deserve it,we all deserve to have someone in our lives,
Today I'm chooseing my healthy freinds hanging out with them ,just having clean fun,love it.
I'm fine either way if someone comes along fine if not fine also,
This is a new me,new version of me,still in recovery ,probably will be rest of my life here in earth,and that's ok,I'm fine with that.
I'm learning so many new ways ,new things,etc.
Feeling like a whole new world opening up to me,I do admit ,to me it is scary a bit.lol.
Change ,getting use to the unfamiliar things in life I ignored ,takes time......hugs,hugs,hugs...lu
I have had the same experiences with going to the ER with my ex-A and being at the hospital for him and him never being there for me. I have had 5 minor operations and he was not there for me, but he gets gout and I have driven him to the ER for medication. Then his drinking got so bad he was going through detox every month when he ran out of money. He has been sober now for a little over 60 days, and has not changed. I have to wonder if this is a personality flaw or the alcoholism or both. My father was an alcoholic but he was very independent and took care of himself until he was elderly. Maybe, I just answered my own question. Some people just seem to suck the life right out of you.
Love, love, love your share and your progress. What brings me the most joy is that you see it and feel it and live it!!! Kudos to you for putting in the work to find your path to peace, joy and serenity. So glad also to hear that you are physically mending......(((Hugs))) - here's to another 24 hours of love, light and life!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
