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Hi I have a daughter who has a drink problem,she is beautiful intelligent,but for the past few years myself and other family members have noticed that she drinks more and more,she has a stressful job (corporate director) and is with a partner that drinks as well and is verbally emotionally abusive to her,two months ago she was unwell and went to her doctors,tests came back her liver was not functioning well both her sister and I tried talking to her and were shouted down,when all the results of the tests came back it has been discovered that she has hep c,she is waiting now to see the specialist but in the mean time she is still drinking,I am so scared that she is not giving her self a fighting chance (hep c is a killer disease of the liver) she knows the dangers and is intelligent enough to know that she could well be speeding up damage to her liver by drinking,I am trying so hard to be supportive and I know for her to stop drinking it has to come from her,I grew up with an alcoholic mother I know I could beg ,scream, get angry it will not make any difference so I am feeling helpless,scared that she will die,angry that she's not stopping.
Welcome Marcusjohn, I am pleased that you found our message board and had the courage to share with such clarity and feeling. I can readily identify with the fear and anxiety over child and would like to suggest that Al-Anon face-to-face meetings, held in most communities whose hotline number is in the white pages, would be of great help at this time. . \
Alcoholism is a destructive. chronic, progressive disease over which we are powerless (as you know).
Al-Anon is a recovery program for family members who are dealing with or have dealt with the disease of alcoholism. It is here that I broke the isolation caused by living with the disease, developed new constructive tools to live by and found support, and compassion as I worked through my anxiety.
Please keep coming back here as well. There is hope and help
I had a "stressful job" and an alcoholic partner when I started getting sober. Something clicked and I moved on from that relationship and went gangbusters AA. Nothing my mom said did anything though once I did get sober, I was able to utilize my parents' wisdom and support. Prior to the awakening, I saw it as nagging and criticism because alcoholism had me in its grasp. I also realized "having a stressful job" was the lamest excuse for drinking my life away. Everyone has a stressful job.
Hit up alanon. Alcoholism is insanity. Too much to handle without a support group of folks that understand the pain and fears...especially when its your kid...Pray for her and build your supports. Just be a loving mom and the rest is largely out of your hands.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Monday 26th of September 2016 05:52:19 PM
Welcome Marcusjohn to MIP - so sorry for what brings you here. I understand the worry - I have 2 sons who have this disease and it was more than I could handle alone. My peace came from Al-Anon and being with supportive others who truly understood and never judged.
Glad that you found us and glad that you shared. We who live with or love another with this disease are affected by it as well - that's why they call it a family disease. There is hope and help for you in recovery - keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for your comments,it's helped knowing I am not alone,have looked up were face to face meeting of al-anon in my area,just now need to take the plunge and go.
Find your courage and give it a try. It was so nice to be with others who understood what I felt and could share their ESH (Experience, Strength & Hope) with me when I was so scared and lost. The best part of Al-Anon is that it's truly a judgement free zone. You can talk, or not, and no matter what you do, you are welcome!
Let us know how it goes! Keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
