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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Courage to Change (C2C) 9/23/16
Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change (C2C) 9/23/16
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Courage to Change (C2C) 9/23/16
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Today's reading is one of my favorites.  It summarizes for me how I can use the program and be/do differently.  It talks about the character defect of responding in kind to bad behavior.  When someone confronts me with hostility, my natural response is to respond the same.  The program has given me the ability to pause and consider different responses, choices and what works best for me.

Reacting to insults with more insults, rudeness with more rudeness seemed natural for so, so long.  The reading points out a story about a person who stopped each and every day to purchase a paper.  The counter person was surly and rude and unpleasant.  The purchaser was always pleasant, calm and kind.  She was asked about the daily exchange and simply explained:

This is the only news stand around, and she would rather detach from the behavior than do without the paper.  She explained further that she is powerless over other people's attitudes, but she doesn't have to permit them to goad her into lowering her own standards for herself.  As best she can, she chooses to treat everyone she meets with courtesy.  Others are free to make their own choices.

Love that concept and it seems so simple!!!

The reminder --- Today I will "Let it begin with me."  I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior; I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself.  I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity.

The quote is from Al-Anon is for Adult Children of Alcoholics -- "My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation.  They depend on my own attitudes and feelings.  If I am always reacting, then I am never free."

This page is powerful for me as it touches upon how it works when we work it.  We are promised growth and freedom in working recovery on ourselves, and it's so true.  I am free to allow others to act as they want, think as they want and just realize we are different people with different outlooks and different goals.  Living my imperfect life as best I can works really well for me so long as I stay on my side of the street.  My HP puts opportunities for growth in front of me each and every day - love that I no longer have to take personal or react to inappropriate behavior.  I now truly know when that happens, it's not about me at all - it's about them.

Make it a great Friday all - grateful for each of you!



__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Calm Lady


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Many thanks for sharing this, IAH. I enjoyed reading it, and as so often is the case, I was nodding all way through.

Yes to it all. Reacting like for like. Letting other people act as they act and not absorbing their moods. I was like a sponge. It was exhausting.

I just thought that was normal. So glad to know I don't have to live that way.

I find when I respond to rudeness with politeness, the rudeness usually stops. Which actually doesn't really matter as it isn't affecting me anyway.

When I acted rude and loud, I thought I was protecting myself. I wasn't. I was draining the life out of myself.

Have a lovely weekend.

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Grateful to put the heavy weight down.

 

 

 
geems


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Thanks so much for sharing IAH. I'm so grateful for that post. It's like a green light for me from HP that this is the right road. Have a wonderful weekend ya'll!

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lookingup


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Thanks Iamhere for the daily reading,yes I was right on spot for me also,pause and think before I react is a very important and useful tool today......hugs lu.I LOVE IT.

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Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
hotrod


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HI IAH and everyone who responded I love this page as it is/was extremely important importNt to my recovery . As I look back I see that t took me a long time to absorb and practice the principle. I continually gave my power away, by reacting and not holding onto my serenity.

Thank goodness for understanding sponsor and many meetings. Now I can stay detached, not "react," and simply treat people with courtesy and respect regardless of whether I agree or not . Today I have principles that I live by thanks to Al-Anon I discovered what those principles and were and am now living by them



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Courage to Change (C2C) 9/23/16