The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes life likes to remind you to stay alert and be on the lookout for icebergs/roadblocks/wrecking balls/etc.
I missed my weekly meeting tonight for a fantasy football draft--it's my favorite time of year so definitely made it a priority today. That being said, a meeting a would have been nice today-so here I am.
Struggling right now with control and being ok with other's not necessarily recognizing that they are trying to control things that don't pertain to them. Which leads me to questioning the drama people create and continue to keep in their lives when they are loosing control.
A message from someone today just set my day off bad. It struck all the wrong chords and set my blood pressure and anxiety through the roof. Then I paused and reflected on, perhaps, my reaction was exactly what this person was trying to elicit. In a way, trying to control my response and due to how hurtful things that were sad to me could have dictated what I choose to do or not do next.
I had two options: 1) respond with either an impulsive response or one more well thought out or 2) ignore.
I read the email over and over again, agonizing over each of the personal attacks and put downs that was written. Acknowledged where some truths were and annoyed at all the statements that were just said out of spite, hatred and to create drama and a reaction.
And then, I opened my email and selected "block sender" and deleted it promptly. Having had interacted with this person numerous times, I knew a response is what they were looking for. An emotional outburst like their own to add fuel to the fire. Me to tell them they were right and thus be "controled" by their words so they could feel success.
It made me process what kind of person I am and who this person was. I googled a lot to give this person a "name" to understand why they did and said the things they did over the last few years. It made me question more what I was chosing for my life.
I have no control over someone else's actions, just my own. This person has been such a negative present in my life and I have asked them numerous times to not interact with me. But I can't control that. What I can control is how in respond. So is it passive aggressive to just block them? The person was never a friend, served no benefit to my life in the positive and embedded themselves into my life, introducing drama that wasn't necessary.
Let go and let God is in my head right now as I try to make sense of today...I'm giving this person too much time and energy just writing this and yet the best thing I could have done today, I feel was to let them go out of my life.
I think your blocking them was a perfect response. You did not" react" and that is great progress. Now it is time to take a warm bath and simply let go.
Crau - I've blocked people before and don't bother to tell them so. I figure they have their own mind and HP and can/will figure it out if they want to. I am willing to go to any lengths to keep my serenity today and if that means blocking others who thrive on drama/chaos, so be it. I also have learned to try and stick with the winners. For me, that's as simple as avoiding gossip, pot-stirring, judgmental people, of which there are many.
You gotta do what you gotta do for you. So sorry that this was a huge part of your day - looks like that's solved now with the block - eh? Keep coming back - you're worth it!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
