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On my way to work this morning I heard this new medical study that they did on the effects of marriage and problem drinkers. It was by Dr. Sanjay Gupta and I thought when I heard it it was a bunch of bs. Basically what it said was that if you were married the chances are 70% less likely that somebody who drinks will become a problem drinker. The whole time I'm yelling at the radio, "You can't control it! And you certainly can't cure it !!!" They're finding was that the nondrinking spouse can moderates how much the other person is drinking and look after their health. I think the study is very misleading because it gives the idea of somebody who was dating somebody who does drink a lot and could potentially get worse with the drinking home "maybe I should go marry this person and then I can fix their drinking problem because I'm married to them. " alcoholism is a progressive disease. Just wanted to know your take on it.
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 19th of August 2016 06:24:49 AM
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Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well. Anonymous
Ug. And sigh. It sounds like an endorsement for codependency. In my view its ignorant. I bet its a self reporting study as well, not an in depth one. Alcoholics self reporting consumption..... Can you imagine? Lol. Xx
Hi I think that it is misleading at best-- Problem drinking is not alcoholism. The AA Big Book defines "problem drinking "as well-- however alcoholism(the disease) is a different monster.
My initial reaction was similar to a4l - a sigh and groan and a great promotion for codependency.....I will say that all the studies in the world will never uncover the real facts as we all know that those with addiction issues are incapable of total honesty....I'm not dissing, I'm just saying if one is asked how much they are drinking, how many are truthful - alcoholic, problem drinker or even just a social drinker. I believe some believe they are honest and not even aware of the facts vs. perception.
I just SMH when I hear things like this.....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
The thing is that correlation is not causation. It may be, for instance, that more healthy couples get married - and less healthy couples, which would include those prone to alcoholism, do not. But I suspect he's simplifying a complicated study. As we know, many people do marry and develop alcoholism. I don't think we're hearing the whole story here.
Yet again...ditto mattie. Regular drinkers are more likely to get married than those with alcoholism or even the precursors progression into alcoholism. Marriage is not a protective factor for alcoholism. More likely conclusion: Stable people and normal drinkers are more appealing for marriage.
I might buy that some men do give up excessive drinking when they get married and have kids, but I don't think marriage is the reason. It is that they were not predisposed to alcoholism in the first place and married/family life is not so conducive to binge drinking.
I always find it amazing that when people I don't know exercise their well meaning thoughts about something I do know about and seem to be getting it wrong...I just want to go fix em in the face of "I didn't cause it, cant control it and will never cure it...or them". God I am grateful for this program and family. (((hugs)))
Yeah, I agree we don't have all the answers to the study and it seems overly simplified. When I was new to the program, I joined to fix my A and to get her to stop drinking. You hear things all the time- if I get married, things will change with my partner...if we have kids...when the kids leave home...etc. The same is said with drinking. I'm learning the hard way right now that's simply not true. Plus I have a lot of things about myself- my character defects and survival tools that aren't working for me anymore- that I am working on along with HP in order for me to change and heal. This study is an oversimplification for what I believe is a lifetime of change and work- at least on my end. I'm the only one who can change me.
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Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well. Anonymous
