The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Okay, spoke to an alanon talked through all my fears and incessant what ifs. Son is out again, drinking. Fear took over, but right now i feel strong. Going to allow him here tonight and tomorrow morning Im leaving him a letter telling him he must sort accomodation and be out by tomorrow. Where I stay there are things in place so he can use these. In the letter, Im going to tell him how much I love him but I want a home without drinking not just for me but for my other son. Hes affected by this too. Then Im going to leave for work and im leaving this with my higher power. I will say a prayer and let the outcome go. Then when I come back from work I will ask for courage again to take further action if hes still in the house. This has got to be done. Hes going down here, Im going down and my other son is going down. This is not a happy home right now.This is my responsibility, this action is mine. I cant sit here waiting for a crisis to happen that affects my son, my neighbours and then act. It must happen now and it must be me to take the action. Please pray I have the courage to do what must be done for everyone including the drinker. Thanks for your support.x
Thank you Hotrod, hadnt thought of the love part. I honestly do love him. If i could take this away from him I would but hes playing me like a fiddle right now. Hes back in my head and working it good and if he used half the brain power that he uses to manipulate then hed be a millionaire by now. Thaks for your supportx
el-cee - I agree....it sounds like courage and love to me too. I am sending you prayers that your strength continues and the outcome meets your boundaries. You got this - and no matter how disconnected your head/heart might be, keep in mind that love and detachment does mean that we allow others to learn in their way at their pace. (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
So I wrote the letter, told him how much I love him but I wont live with drinking anymore. Was brave and to the point but loving. Then he came home last night, was quiet as a mouse. This morning it appears he wasn't drinking last night so this got me confused this morning and i decided to put the letter in my bag and give him the benefit of the doubt today. I still feel good though, I have finally got a plan B and so Im going to see what my higher power gives me today and I am feeling more and more ready to take action for me and my youngest son. I feel the courage has grown now and I feel comfortable with this plan so I feel my higher power is telling me its the right thing. In fact to not do this is actually making me feel uncomfortable so its the right thing. So the solution has been found but it could be my disease talking by giving him the benefit of the doubt. Im not sure but I dont feel trapped and helpless today and Im grateful for that. Thanks again everyone for coming along with me.x
I so agree with what Betty says.......I heavily rely on so many of our slogans in times of confusion/uncertainty, and when I read your post the "When in Doubt, Don't" popped in my brain. You got this and my prayers continue for all of you!! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
