The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for August 27 speaks about attending our first Al-Anon meeting. Many of us were disappointed because we were not given a list telling us "how to fix the alcoholic". Instead we are given the 12 steps with the suggestion that we focus on ourselves and use the steps to recover.
At the second meeting we thought we have the steps down. Knew that we were powerless believed in God and were willing to dump all our problems on anyone who take them.
As we continued to attend meetings, we began to see that we weren't really in many powerless because we were still trying to control and we were not really turning our will and life over to HP.
After several attempts of working the steps we finally come to see and accept our powerlessness and understand why we must surrender to God and finally say not my will but yours.
The first three steps are not as easy as we first thought so we aim for progress not perfection. We are learning a new set of tools and must be patients with ourselves as we learn to use we are doing fine.
The quote is from Seneca; "as long as you live, keep learning how to live."
I am so very grateful for the tools and support that alanon provided .Before embarking on this recovery program I do believe that I had stopped growing at a very early age. I was convinced I knew it all, kept a closed mind and refused to change because I thought that I was always right.
Today I aim for progress not perfection, keep an open mind in every inter-action and am so pleased when I witness my growth in changed attitudes and deeper serenity.
That very first line described me. What makes me laugh (at myself) is I truly wanted people to help me fix my As and I was active in the other 12 Step program and so very, very clueless about Al-Anon. All that I learned and practiced in the other program brought me to a level of maturity and peace that I would never have had had I continued in active addiction.
What's so cool and so hard to describe is that this side of the table has taken me and my journey to a completely different personal level/path. The other program taught me how to live without alcohol and other mind-altering substances. Most of the slogans, tools, etc. were all related to my relationship with substances. While I worked hard to be a better person, I remained firm in my battle against the disease.
In Al-Anon, it's all about how I live without the alcoholic, the chaos, the drama, the stinking thinking, reactions, etc. It is so hard to explain this, but this program has truly taught me to love me as I am and not because of how I do/don't do. I will always protect my sobriety at any cost, but I can now avoid slippery situations with a different level of grace and empathy than before. I can confidently state my truth and my peace with love and compassion. My outlook and approach have become less about abstaining from mind-altering substances and more about how I live my days/hours/minutes.
My search for peace, serenity and calm in any storm is so much deeper and my learning how to live matters at a different level. I am so grateful that I stayed around even when I learned that you all could not help me help them. It took me a while to have my Ah-Ha moment for sure.
I too love the quote - perfect for this journey!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Betty, The C2C help me Stop and listen..when I first read the 12 steps I definitely thought to myself especially on the first 3 " Oh this is going to be easy, Ive got this"... I was only kidding myslef...It is not easy..and I am seeing now as many have told me it is a work in progress..ODAT right! whew... I love the morning messages...
