The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
AH had a business meeting at church tonight. I was going anyway, so I picked him up and we went together. For the first time ever I was not worried about the smell of alcohol or his red eyes or slurring words...I had no anxiety about him or the state he was in...i owned "me" and let him be "him". It was quite a breakthrough for me as I am usually in a major tizzy over the state he is in...small steps, one day at a time.
Thank y'all for your sharing on this board - I have been pouring over posts for two weeks and really feel like I have learned so much!
It takes time to get to the point of realizing we can't fix them. We can't control them. We can't cure them. Their behavior is not ours to own.
That said, I do have boundaries where A is concerned. He is not to come to any school functions if he's been drinking. My only concern is to save my kids the embarrassment because we've been there and it's not fair or appropriate for my kids to have to deal with their A father in front of their friends, teachers and coaches.
You're making good progress, Fairlee! The program works if you work the program.
Thanks for posting about your progress fairlee. What a relief huh.. to just go about your own business of being yourself and not interfering with how he chooses to show up. Thanks for sharing. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I love to read about your detachment and how you are learning from all those who have gone before us in the battle of alcoholism. I am glad to read about your growth! Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
AH had a business meeting at church tonight. I was going anyway, so I picked him up and we went together. For the first time ever I was not worried about the smell of alcohol or his red eyes or slurring words...I had no anxiety about him or the state he was in...i owned "me" and let him be "him". It was quite a breakthrough for me as I am usually in a major tizzy over the state he is in...small steps, one day at a time.
Thank y'all for your sharing on this board - I have been pouring over posts for two weeks and really feel like I have learned so much!
Hey Fairlee, i hope I didn't somehow miss welcoming you to the board...I saw this post "Making progress" and i am thinking "progress" is one of my favorite words b/c in the old me days, it was Perfection and I failed miserably b/c of my being human and prone to setbacks like anyone else, i have learned......yep, i would say you made a HUGE progress step...part of loving detachment is letting them do "their thing" and facing their consequences while WE do "our thing" and we only are responsible for our choices....sure makes life easier and less stress filled hey??? belated welcome to the group and when i first started, i poured over posts, too, and got into the groove as to how i work my program, re: the steps, meets, sponsor, etc.....it is a process and from what i see in your post above, that is major good recovery work......I am impressed!!! I hope you keep coming back b/c honest...This alanon works.......in support, Neshema
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Yeah I remember when it finally clicked to me: "hey, he is not me/his behaviour has nothing to do with me/he is life is not my life" "I want to live MY life and live without letting his behaviour affect my behaviour. I am my own person, I am not him"
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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
