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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Resentments & need online sponsor
Post Info TOPIC: Resentments & need online sponsor
deramam


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Resentments & need online sponsor
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Today me and my AH got into a heated argument. Like usual the first thing I did was tell him to go to his "friends" (people he drinks/uses with). Then I proceeded to tell him that I throw the stuff he's done in his face because it's what he always does. He is a binge drinker and is currently sober and doing treatment. He's been sober for a little over 2 weeks now. If I get the slightest feeling that he wants to leave and drink I throw everything in his face so that if he does leave I don't care because I'm pissed off at him. Doing this does make me mad and it makes him mad and makes him feel like I think he's a piece of  (what he told me). Thankfully he diffused the argument by not leaving and telling me that he doesn't want to leave and instead he wants us to talk about it and resolve it. We did but now I feel guilty and hope that what I said and making him feel low doesn't make the urge to drink or use that much heavier. I seen his 'friend' walking down the road and it made me mad at him. I know that's crazy but that's what happened. I haven't been able to find a meeting near me yet but when I went to my H's family group someone mentioned a meeting in the area but I didn't get to talk to them before they left. Hopefully next week if my AH isn't gone and we go to the family group I can find out where that meeting is. I would really love an online sponsor. Even if it's temp until I can find the f2f meeting and hopefully get a sponsor there. Please message me if willing.



-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 26th of August 2014 10:46:49 PM



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"This too shall pass"
grateful2be


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You can contact the WSO of Al-Anon's website. There should be meetings in your area listed there. If not, maybe Al-Anon in your telephone book's white pages or by putting Al-Anon and your City in your search engine? We also have on-line meetings twice a day here.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
deramam


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I've tried doing all that and if there is a meeting it's not listed anywhere. When I contacted WSO they sent me to my area website and I contacted them and they sent me the meeting list and it said that there wasn't one in my area. I do meetings online. My biggest problems are resentments and reacting to feelings negatively.

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"This too shall pass"
grateful2be


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In our area, we can call the AA number and they can usually give information on Al-Anon meetings, too. I have found it helpful to look at the steps in my readers and pick one that might be helpful to me. Then I read the different pages on that step until I feel more peaceful or clear on an action I can take. Reading topics like resentments, expectations, fear helps, too.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Debilyn


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three c's. you did not cause it, you cannot control it, you cannot cure it. The AH is on their own. NOTHING you do is going to make any difference to their disease. we have no control over it.

When you throw things at him, it only tells the A it is taking your power. The disease is controlling you, pulling you down into its pit. Its one of the symptoms of the disease, they do not want to go down alone.

Al Anon teaches us to not get into their stuff. We learn to look at our needs and wants. Allow the A to do what they are going to do. Allowing a disease to make ya nuts is not sane either.

Here we learn to detach from the diseases pulling us in. We learn to not even think about it anymore. That person is going to do what they are going to do, so why bother getting into it?

hugs, debilyn



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       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
SerenityRUS


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My only recommendation/suggestion about working with ANY sponsor online or real time is that they also be working a program AND they have a sponsor as well. EVERYONE needs guidance and giving program advice while not working with a sponsor is just not recommended there is a pamphlet on Sponsorship I bet you can find it on the WSO site.

I hope you can find some meetings in your area that will work. I have heard there are phone meetings as well. I think you can goggle that information.

Peace and healing on your journey,

S :)

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

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