I am so sick to my stomach. Yesterday was our 6 month mark for being married. We're still newly weds. I have noticed that my husband drinks alot when he drinks. He does not think that he does, the problem is though he hides how much he drinks. He will drink wine in front of me but then hide the vodka he drinks. I get the blame when I notice the jug of it practiacally gone. He doesn't make sense, why would he hide the vodka...The only explanation in my mind is that he is trying to create an illusion that he does not drink as much as he says he does. Drink wine in front of me (Obvious because of smell) hide vodka, no smell i think he's not drinking (he poors it in coffee at night)
I have stage 4 breast cancer and am fighting a battle that is scary. My stress is high already having to try and survive breast cancer that has spread to m lungs, bone and lymph nodes. What my husband is doing on top of it is destroying us. I do not trust him. I want to leave my husband because of his lies and I want to go to al anon meetings because I can't afford to leave in the middle of treatment. I have only one place to move and that is leave CA and go to WA. I have so many doctors that I see, surgery scheduled on the 30th and I am falling apart at the seams. I am 47 years old.
I threw away all the alcohol in the house and I know he will be furious with me. However I did it because I was so hurt from the lying and then him blaming me for hiding the vodka drinking. I know I wrote a lot, but I had to get it out. Hs mother and (Possibly) his father is an alcoholic, it does run in the family. He said what's the big deal I used to drink two bottles a night. I told him, had I known I would not have married him. Then he just snapped at me and said YOU KNEW. I want to leave him, I can't do this any more.
I am so sorry that you must deal with this dreadful disease while you are fighting your own personal battle with cancer. I understand the need for serenity and peace so that you can focus on yourself and getting better.
One of the many symptons of alcoholism is Denial so believe me you are not alone.
Right now I understand your desire to leave and go somewhere else to heal I would like to suggest that you find an alanon meeting in your community by going to this web siteV http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html Or call: 1-888-4alanon Here and at meetings you will discover you are not alone and be given support, compassion and new tools to live your life by.
Focusing on yourself, your life, taking care of your health, living one day at a time,reading inspirational literature, breaking the isolation you will find the strength and wisdom to know what is best for your family and life
Keep coming back here You are not alone
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change,Courage to change the things I can,And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...