LINKS

Al-Anon Group Home Page
Al-Anon Group Meeting/Chat Room
Site Technical Problems or Questions?
Step Work Board - A Step each week!
Online Meeting Schedules


**By clicking the "Donate" graphic above you will be taken to paypal.com where you can make a donation amount of your choice to ensure this site stays fully self supporting through its members contributions. Any amount you donate will be appreciated and valued. Thank you!


Al-Anon Family Group
Message Board

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"Real" Al-Anon Meeting Directory


A new step every two weeks in the order they were written!


Al-Anon's 12 Steps & 12 Traditions

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Things I am powerless over


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 497
Date:
Things I am powerless over
 


At the suggestion of my sponsor, I am revisiting Step 1 and making a list of things I am powerless over.  Feel free to add to this list or comment as you see fit - hopefully someone besides me will get something out of this.

At a high level, my powerlessness can be summed up to encompass a few rather large areas that can directly affect me and my state of mind.  These are listed in no particular order of importance:

1.  Other people's behavior
2.  Other people's choices
3.  Other people's feelings
4.  Other people's beliefs
5.  The weather (ok, that's an easy, obvious one)
6.  The economy (see item 2)
7.  Alcohol (see items 1 and 2)
8.  What other people say to me and how they say it (see item 1)
9.  Other people's reactions to my behavior (see items 1 and 3)
10.  The past - I can't change it
11.  The future - I can't predict it

To be more specific,  I am powerless over anything my AH does - whether it's from drinking 24/7 to interrogating me about a Bunco party to overcooking the food on the the grill to making the choice to drive to the hamburger joint with our young son in the car after having been drinking all day. 

This seems to be such a short, deceptively simple list.  Who knew it could be so difficult to keep all of this in mind from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute?

Did I miss anything big here?

Thanks for listening,

bg

Update:  Just FYI - I will not be putting my son in the position of having to get in the car with his dad if he's been drinking going forward.  I made the mistake of trusting my AH when he said he would cook at home, which he ended up not doing.  I won't be doing that again.



-- Edited by blender_girl on Tuesday 7th of April 2009 11:19:42 AM

__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 252
Date:
 

Your list is longer than mine - the only thing I've been thinking about when saying the serenity prayer "accept the things I cannot change," the only thing I think about his my husband's drinking. Guess there's a lot more for me to learn.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1931
Date:
 

wow BG, did I ever need to read that list- thank you! J.

__________________


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 25
Date:
 

((((blendergirl)))))
I love your list.....but one thing truly sticks out to me. I was told by the court system (I am in the middle of a divorce) that if I allow the kids to get in the car with my ex a, after he's been drinking, I'll be charged with neglect. So that is one thing I had to have control over. Sad as it is because now my son does not see his father. Prayers and hugs.....grateful

__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 216
Date:
 

I was just strolling through the posts, as usual, and came across your's. Just in the time I needed it too. I had been thinking about going home for a vacation. The last time I went my AH went out on a bender, got the car stolen, and was gone for 2 days. He was supposed to be taking care of our kids, then 17 and 13, both out of school for summer. Granted they didn't need a lot of "taking care of" but they needed guidance and permission to do things. They needed a parent here is what I am saying. I had tried previous to this time to keep my AH's antics quiet so the kids didn't have to be bothered with him but that flew out the window. But it wasn't my fault, he chose to do that. Thank goodness his parents were in town and back up, I had a feeling he would "act up". I was right but while I was out of town I didn't really even care because I knew my MIL and FIL were there to help out. As usual. I really needed to read that list to help me remember MY responsibilities and to keep my side of the street clean because that's all I am responsible for. Thank you so much for this post!!

Yours in recovery,
wildthang86

__________________
Take the time to take care of YOU!!!
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us

By clicking the graphic link above you will be taken to paypal.com where you can make a donation amount of your choice to ensure this site stays fully self supporting through its members contributions. Any amount you donate will be appreciated and valued.