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A Grateful Member
(Preview)
Hello All,
I am a grateful member of alanon, and a grateful member of this board.
I wanted to drop a quick thanks to everyone who replied to my posts this week, especially this weekend. You all helped me to remember my program, and work on me. I got through a hard time because of all of you. I am forever g...
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Dolphin123
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0
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286
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Do We REALLY get on with life?
(Preview)
I was reading some posts and it occured to me that as much as we are able to detach when we are involved in unhealthy relationships, we also choose to deny our needs. When we say we detach... does that solve the problem we feel inside of wanting our husband, wives, significant others to love us as we...
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sanddie
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8
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436
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HP at work/ kitten back
(Preview)
The kitten issue has been resolved. The couple that took the kitten hom did phone and drop him off before dinner time. This was none of my doing as it was not my situation to fix.
I did tell hubby in the morning that he did owe our son an apology as it was a very wrong thing to do. Then from there...
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jj
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1
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320
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response to do we really go on.....
(Preview)
wow, don't be shy girl!! lol this was a great thought provoking post. Thank you
for sharing so very much!
My scoundrel A has been gone really since he had the brain surgery in 99. Lost his
years of sobriety, AA, ability to love, ability to be him anymore, lost his
ability to be able to be in recov...
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debilyn
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1
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512
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The Lie of a Lifetime
(Preview)
Well today was the second day after the addict relapsed and he's been doing what he should but in his efforts to get honest with himself and the world he is unloading his story to me. Anyway the whole story that he gave me in my previous post "Reality of Relapse " is all pure unadulterated bull. No...
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lildee
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7
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406
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Anger
(Preview)
Sorry, so angry, I posted twice - couldn't see the first one for the red mist lol
-- Edited by flora123 at 20:05, 2005-08-14
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flora123
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0
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326
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Drunk driving
(Preview)
What do you do when your A is about to get into a car and drive? I know you can't give advice, but what do you guys do? I offer to take him where he needs to go or pick something up for him. I don't know what the right thing to do is, but I couldn't live with myself if he killed someone if I could in any way prevent it....
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FoggyMac
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7
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502
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20 reasons to rejoice
(Preview)
For me it's the little things and this list really spoke to me. I thought I would share this with all of you.
20 reasons to rejoice:
1. A hug from your kids
2. Stopping after one piece of chocolate (o.k. maybe two)
3. A full moon (I like lightning and thunder storms too)
...
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Maria123
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2
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387
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I believe my husband is a dry drunk
(Preview)
I am new to this board. I really need some advice on how to deal with my husband, who stopped drinking cold turkey almost eleven years ago.
I knew he liked to drink when we got married, but we were in our early 20's and most of our friends would go out to a bar to socialize on the weekend...
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mother of three
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7
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1917
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Thr Reality of Relapse
(Preview)
Cunning and baffling as this disease is, the reality of relapse at any time hit home yesterday. After 22 months clean my addict relapsed into oblivion.
Today was his departed father's birthday. So he had gone to the cemetery to pay respects .... at least that is what I was told. He left the house at 7AM...
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lildee
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4
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592
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Insanity
(Preview)
Hello all,
The definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.
My "A" and I have been having a stressful week, and not really noticing the toll that was beeing taken on us. We had a celebration on Friday that concluded the stress filled week. Last...
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Dolphin123
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2
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609
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I am so mad.....
(Preview)
I just talked to my A. On Fridays he deposits his check in the bank, I left him a voice mail this morning telling him, take his weekly money and the extra amount I needed for the week, a donation for the family of the funeral we will attend tomorrow, and his haircut money. I call the bank and est...
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marmare
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6
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418
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Is it true?
(Preview)
I have a question:
Is it true that if you have alcoholic parents that you will be an alcoholic as well?
I wonder about the answer to this question everyday and it is driving me crazy!
Please reply.
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princess433
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6
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576
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Faith
(Preview)
Hello all,
I am sitting here replying to more posts than I ever have. My "A" has pur car and is not answering his cell. It could be nothing, or it could mean no good. The last time I talked to him he said don't worrh honey I am not doing anything stupid, hmmmmmmmmm funny I wasn't even thinking he was until he...
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Dolphin123
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2
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417
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getting started
(Preview)
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afmom03
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2
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404
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Tense times
(Preview)
Yesterday was my son's fifth birthday. Things were fine until my husband got a call from his new parole officer saying he wanted to see my husband in an hour at our house. Well of course my husband starts panicking because he is dirty and yells at me. I just basically took a d...
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browneyes
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3
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375
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Some one help!
(Preview)
Hi!
I have a mother who is an alcoholic. I used to live with her but I got token away. I have so many mixed emotions that it is truely scarey. If anyone noes how to cope please send me a not. Thanks.
princess433
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princess433
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2
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412
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please answer this question!
(Preview)
how do you make the pain go away? the other day i found out that everyone in my school knew that my mom was a prostitute, except me. that really hurt.i dont know if it is true though. she has been known to do stuff like that.
princess433
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princess433
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6
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482
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hello
(Preview)
hi
my mom is a acoholic. she might still be an addict but i am not for sure. it is very hard to see her hurt. thankfully i dont live with her any more but it is still painful. if you need to take send me a message.
princess433
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princess433
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2
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443
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I got the job!
(Preview)
Just heard this afternoon that I got the job I had applied for. It is a temporary position in customer service for an excellent company with fabulous benefits. It will last 10 weeks but after that they tell me my chances are very good to be hired permanently. This is just a way to get m...
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hurtinginindy
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3
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429
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The Roller Coaster Continues.. !
(Preview)
Alcoholism is such an emotional roller coaster for EVERYONE .. Especially, those of us who love the A's ....
Today is Friday and thankfully, my A is working. I know that sounds terrible but the house is so peaceful when he isnt here. I miss him however, not like before. We have been thru so much that I...
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Tammy
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3
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433
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He blew 31 days!
(Preview)
My A was doing pretty good over the last several months, he finally gave up the whiskey, was drinking a beer here and there, mostly on the weekends but not getting drunk! I have been really proud of him. I even felt like my life was becoming manageable again. It has felt so good not to b...
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kimg
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4
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423
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Despair
(Preview)
What do they say "You only get what you deserve". I'm beginning to wonder what I did in the past to deserve what is on my plate now. My life is so complex and such a long story its not worth boring anyone with except to say that my partner started binge drinking in 97 and has contin...
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annieb
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14
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474
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This isn't how things are supposed to be
(Preview)
I don't know how my life ended up this way. This isn't how things are supposed to be. I try so hard to smile and tell the world how happy I am but I don't think I'm fooling anyone anymore. I went out dancing last night for the first time in years. I had such a blast. I loved bei...
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Mandi
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4
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499
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I have to share
(Preview)
I get daily affirmations in my email, I sometimes print them at work to share with the counselors or post them on my computer monitor but today I have to share this one for us dog lovers....
Okay, so you don't have a tail. I don't either, but that’s not the point. I was watchin...
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marmare
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1
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410
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Alcoholism ruined our marriage
(Preview)
Alcoholism ruined our marriage
A startling revelation made to me by my alcoholic husband.
I met him for dinner and he uttered these words.
He said that alcoholism is a disease and he is Irish and that alcoholism has been in his family for generations, so he can't help it.
He must be reading th...
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megan
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4
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497
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Haxigonian V
(Preview)
What a first day!
First order of business was to buy a transit pass; without which here you're screwed.
next was a meeting Senora bob clued me in to...NW at noon...40 people...topic was gifts of the program :)
There was a Vietnamese place nearby which had my favorite comfort food of all.....
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haximon
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6
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459
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Recovering Daughter Problems
(Preview)
My daughter is recovering and has been sober from alcohol for over 3 months. She is 21 and also taking a university class. Tonight she said she wanted to go to family counselling because she said my husband (step dad) is gossiping about her. She heard a couple of stories that she is c...
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Iris
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3
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452
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Our son's little alcoholic houseguest
(Preview)
My husband and I have been married for almost 28 years and have two grown children. Our oldest son, 27, just recently called to tell us he was getting a divorce, and oh yes, could he come back home to live because he now realized how “important” family is and he wants to start over. We told him...
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mizcathi
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7
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895
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kitty...
(Preview)
The quote below : Infidelity is a need for power, not a lack of love or romance. I am confused. (?) Seeking infidelity when feeling powerless in a committed relationship? Men needing a sense of power? &...
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wallsal55
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1
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365
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Confused
(Preview)
I am so afraid right now-----I want to run!
My A and I have spent some time apart this week, he needed to focus on self and so did I-now he wants to talk tonite-very afraid he wants to call it off-told him I need time before we talk but I think I am just avoiding him because I feel hes go...
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beachbaby
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3
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441
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One night at a time...
(Preview)
Well I am proud of myself last night. My "A" had some friends over and he got drunk. Not just the normal drunk, but the agrumentative drunk. And I just humored him and said things like "yes, honey" and "ok honey" and I didnt bite. The things h...
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kimmie
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6
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457
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my mom is an alcoholic!
(Preview)
Hi-
My mom is a alcoholic. I have been very hurt by her. If anyone needs to talk, I am here.
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princess433
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3
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374
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hope for us
(Preview)
I am really struggling with having any hope for them.
I cannot go there, for hoping for them, is a slip for me. I cannot think about them at all - I have done this for 20 years, I MUST think of myself.
Having hope for myself is a foreign & a new concept. I am trying to g...
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kitty
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1
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364
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forgive me room!
(Preview)
I spent the entire day w/ my mom & we made it to our first f2f (yaay for us!)
As I was driving home just now, I realized I made some comments at last night's chat mtg & I want to humbly apologize to everyone. I have no right to say anything to anyone in here (or anywhere els...
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kitty
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4
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472
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Children of alcoholics
(Preview)
It is hard to have a parent how has a problem with alcohol.
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princess433
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4
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386
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Both sides of the Fence - Aug 11
(Preview)
I was replying to Apple and realized that I had to share this with ALL.
From the Alcoholics side..........
There was no way on earth that I was going to admit that I was an ALCOHOLIC. The word itself was horrific, demoralizing and just plan nasty.. I wasn't...
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kathy570
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5
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411
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For Kerry Sorry
(Preview)
HI Kerry
SO SORRY i *poofed on you * had a lil kitty emergency that pulled me away from screen before i could write it down .... I am behind you .. good work
Love in recovery
Fiona
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fiona123
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1
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346
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Help for the Children
(Preview)
Last night at the meeting we were talking about boundries and I brought up the subject about setting boundries for our children because they are too young to set them for themselves.
My children are 8 and 5, so I feel like they are still too young to stand up for themselves. so I n...
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browneyes
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6
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505
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haxi-gonian IV
(Preview)
[[ room ]]
I am in Portland, and in one piece. I'm okay so don't worry.
I know I need to sell my car and work on shelter and transit issues. Tomorrow I pick up my mail and the real work begins. I have had a real adventure that i could write volumes on. I can't thank the room as a whole enough for th...
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haximon
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12
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440
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When is enuf, enuf? Please post!
(Preview)
This has been a week-- or more.
My 'A' is pic-pic-nit-pic constantly-- sometimes I feel like he sees me as more of a child than an adult. That's okay-- maybe you can laugh when you read the latter part of this post....
Last Friday we went out with several other friends. The 'A' of course was oblit...
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Apple Pie
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8
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580
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Angry
(Preview)
Today I am finding myself angry...Yesturday I was angry as well....I have been haveing trouble sleeping and when I get up in the a.m. I find myself angry...not a good way to start your day....
I shared a couple of weeks ago that My brother has picked up again and has been drinking for awhile now...I was...
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wmed
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3
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418
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cdb and dad
(Preview)
Talked to cdb tonight. Her Dad is better, he was having problems with pacemaker. With some med adjustments he is doing much better. CDB and her Mom even went out Loveseat shopping today. She will probably be gone through the weekend.
josey
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jrtjosey
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0
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340
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Mourning?
(Preview)
I had been reading alot of the prior posts about crying and getting it out-- and I guess for me, I'm crying for all the things I think I've lost (besides my mind)... I keep thinking about what it was like when we first met and how we laughed, and dreamed and life seemed limitless. I'm just crushed at the thou...
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Apple Pie
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6
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404
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Part 2 -I DRANK FOR...from Both Sides of the Fence - Aug 11
(Preview)
I drank
I drank for Happiness and became unhappy
I drank for Joy and became miserable
I drank for Sociability and became argurmentative
I drank for Sophistication and became obnoxious
I drank for Frienship and made enimies
I drank for Sleep and awakened without rest
...
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kathy570
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3
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408
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The Rat Takes a Therapist
(Preview)
8/8/2005
AM: Today started out running – like all systems go. When there’s lots to do, I do better.
p.m.: The afternoon session with the therapist left much to be desired. Andrew & I had been given “homework” assignments. This consisted of a relationship workshe...
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dove
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4
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576
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Sadness
(Preview)
Hi everyone.
Today I am sad and feel lonely, I want to cry to get out the tears but they wont come.
Several weeks ago, my A relasped and he is now backing away from me to focus on himself, he put himself back into recovery the day after his relaspe, attending 2 mtgs a day, dail...
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beachbaby
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3
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362
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Who made me upset?
(Preview)
I could blame other people. (Wrong)
I know it is my emotion and how I react is why I get upset. (and upset is covering fear)
I choose to be with people who's behavior is not acceptable to me. (I own this one)
I have to choose not to be near those people. ( I need to own this one)
I am slowly learni...
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tullemars
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4
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404
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The Upside of Anger
(Preview)
A movie recommendation...if you haven't seen "The Upside of Anger" and are up for a good movie, this is with Joan Allen and Kevin Costner. Powerful, funny, thoughtful, wise. Best movie I've seen in some time.
Here are the last words by the youngest daughter in this movie:
"Anger and...
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hurtinginindy
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1
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368
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Problems & Solutions
(Preview)
I am reading "Traveling Mercies...Some Thoughts on Faith" by Ann Lamott. Last night I ran across this and thought I would share...
"Stop living in the problem and move into the solution."
Good advice I think...it may be my new mantra.
BTW the author of this book went through a pretty wild...
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hurtinginindy
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0
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317
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My words come back
(Preview)
I noticed sometimes when I reply to a post I think hard and long before submitting it. Funny how my own words sometimes help with healing. I know I have to work hard sometimes at my program, sometimes harder then others. It's nice to know that self talk is so important and after years...
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marmare
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3
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362
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Question about crying.....
(Preview)
i don't cry much anymore. Part of the symptoms, I get numb with or w/o drugs, booze, etc.
I have been noticing lately, that I really don't cry a lot. Sometimes, wish I did.....lol
Anyway, when I do cry--it can be because I'm happy or sad........when i'm happy & I cry, i can usually s...
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catherine
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6
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473
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resentments and kids, cont.
(Preview)
Wow,
Thanks everyone for your responses that is why I come here to know I am not alone or crazy.
Lildee a special message to you, I understand so much about building resentments towards my daughter, my son and I get along great, although he is...
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holly123
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1
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344
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resentments and my kids
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I have gone through and so many of the posts and so many relate to how I am feeling or things going on in my life. My lastest crisis is my kids emotions. It is so hard not to carry resentments straight through to them, especially my daughter w...
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holly123
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10
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582
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Dori where are you????
(Preview)
did you get the envelope i sent you? how are you and the kids doing?
Please post me private or whatever.
love,debilyn
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debilyn
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2
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385
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i am a new member
(Preview)
I feel the need to talk to others and have thought of al-anon before. I'm very happy to have found this sight and hope it will help. My husband is a alcoholic and now knows he has a problem but trying to fix it by himself. He was badly hurt at work 3 months ago and is still under doctors care but his drinking has...
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jspooh
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4
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562
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I am feeling down
(Preview)
I left my husband Thursday night and I haven't heard a word from him. I am trying to be strong and demand respect but I have let self-doubt rear it's ugly head. I took a stand and said that I didn't have to live like this anymore, that I deserved more. Now I need to be strong. If I le...
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JulieLynn
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6
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483
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PEE'D OFF
(Preview)
SORRY FOLKS REALLY NEED TO VENT.
MY EX-A STILL DRIVING ME MAD. HE HAD BEEN REALLY NICE LAST FEW DAYS, THINK BECAUSE HE HAD A FRIEND STAYING WITH HIM AND WANTED TO SHOW HIM AND HIS FRIENDS THAT WE WERE ALL A FAMILY AND FULLY SUPPORTING HIM. HE IS GOING TO AMSTERDAM FOR THIS WEEKEND TO SPEAK ON...
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melanieL
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1
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383
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Hi Everyone...new here.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone!
My name is Jenny. I just found this site, and not a minute too soon. I'm having a really rough time lately. It's hard for me to go to meetings in my area because a lot of my qualifier's (my husband's) friends go to the Alanon meetings around here, and I don't feel c...
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JennyLynn
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4
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598
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wisdom in here
(Preview)
I've been in chat a lot lately & I try to read something on the boards everyday, I don't get to them all.
But I have to say, the strength & wisdom I have gained in this painful month has been profound. Now, I want to give the same phrases back...
Grief is a part of letting go.
Al...
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kitty
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3
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479
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