The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good Morning All I m going camping today for a week so am posting early.
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The ODAT Reading for Tuesday 9-18 speaks about our reasons for first entering the rooms of alanon. It suggests that most come to find out how to get someone to stop drinking and then discover that alanon is much more than that. It is a Spiritual program that promotes growth and change within ourselves.
.The reading also suggest that life lived on Spiritual principles enriches everyone so hat we will always need alanon. Recovery is a process and we can pass along the tools that we developed to others.
Of course I came to Alanon to fix my A after 20+ years of trying on my own, to no avail, and putting myself into a deep emotional hole. My son kept telling me I needed help , but I couldn't see it. If only my A changed, all would be fine. HA! NOPE! Once I got over my disappointment, I could see how much happier and calmer the folks in my F2F were. And I decided I wanted some of that! So onward and upward, I have some of that. Progress not perfection, Lyne
I did not ever set out to change the A. This did not make me different, at all- in my journey.
My dad and the local culture meant we started drinking at about 16- and learned 'to hold our booze'.
I thought this was weird and ridiculous. As a kid I watched family drinking and I believed they were drinking poison. Because I saw the results.
Even today I think that having a few drinks is healthy and relaxing- fo rmost people. Nothing wrong with is.
Maybe going through teens years- and 'getting rotten' with our peers- is a rite of passage- a form of bonding... pretty harmless.
But day in and day out- with all the arguments. And running out of money for food and good clothes- ridiculous!
In my 20's I ran with people who were using heroin, LSD And Dope... and I felt exactly the same way. If I broke my leg in three places I would welcome some opiates.
But for broken lives and broken dreams- it is the gateway to sheer hell.
So I decided to face my life and my dreams head on- and embrace what was nice, and satisfying, and wholesome.
I am doing a round of F2F meetings, at the moment... last night I came away feeling embarrassed at the personal closeness I felt there. I know 100% I have no need to feel this way. I know I get a strong sense of family- family of choice.
I know, deep down that this experience is healing me. And something inside is telling me that I am not worthy of this health. This well-being. :(
I can tell myself I am okay, that I am worthy- but it is only in a group of peers, that this will sink in and replace the old conditioning- the old expectations...
Thank you Betty for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares and ESH. I arrived hoping for the magical answer to how to fix my A(s). I was so 'put off' by the suggestion I needed recovery and I needed to change that I left to try and cure, control, etc. for a while more.
I did return when I was sick and tired of the scene. I came with open ears, open mind and broken heart. I began trying what was suggested and embraced the program and did find a spiritual solution to my situation. I found the ability to forgive, let go and move forward with grace, empathy, compassion and more one day at a time.
I love that we are to focus on self vs. 'them'. I have learned how to listen to what I am feeling in the midst of a storm. I no longer have to be a victim to anyone else's actions/choices, I can be free to be me. So, so grateful!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((((((((((((((Betty))))))))))))))) well you have a GREAT camping trip...my Foster daughter and my SIL love to do that...they come back half eaten by mosquitoes but happy and relaxed, LOL.....and yea, my motives coming here were not "clean" I wanted to find out how to make life work, MY way, MY control, etc., I had broken with my Ex AH#2 so just had/have the brothers and my friend next door who has radically cut back and eating better, so go figure.....anyway, NOW I come here for ME and to learn how to behave better and override MY stinking thinking...........
Good morning all, thanks for the topic and the shares
I came to AlAnon because my approach to fixing my A and my life wasn't working. I was at the point of being so desperate, I was willing to try anything. I kept going back because I wanted the calm that others seemed to have. I was amazed that people could deal with such issues and at the same time find happiness and joy. Each time I work the steps, I discover new character defects, new things to work on, and looking back, I see a much healthier person in myself than I was even 6 months ago. I wonder where I will be in 6 more months with the program? only time will tell
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning MIP! Thank you Betty for posting early, I hope you are enjoying the outdoors! Thank you to all who share!
My very first experience with 12 Step was with Nar-Anon. It was sheer hell going to those meetings. Such a bleak, bleak future for me I saw in those rooms! Someone in one of the rooms said I should try Al-Anon, as they found those meetings much more "uplifting." She was spot on! Perhaps I found a great meeting the first time visiting, but it was a life-saver for me! I am sad to say that I did not know (nor did I care to find out) enough about Addiction in general, so I did not stay when my SO became clean. I left thinking, "All's good, he's fine, I'm fine, onward and upward!" Well, here I am today. My SO just picked up a different substance, and our family rode that merry-go-round for years afterwards. The difference today is 1)I know A TON about addiction
2) I found the strength to leave and
3) I know that living with this program and it's tools and principles is the right thing to keep me centered and balanced!
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Tuesday 18th of September 2018 10:13:40 PM
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Like many, when I first came to Alanon, I thought I'd find support to change someone else. When I realized that was not going to happen, I didn't think this program was for me. (What, I'd have to change!?! )
Thankfully, my HP let me wander in circles until I circled back to Alanon, and this time with more clarity and readiness. The best thing is how the tools and skill sets can be applied in all of my affairs... awesome, because sometimes it takes plenty of practice.
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Thanks y'all... 
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