The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about how Alanon has brought consistency and structure to those of us who have lived in the chaos of an alcoholic family. The writer mentions that although there were rules in the house that he/she grew up in, due to the nature of alcoholism and all the chaos it brings, those rules were often ignored. The writer came to Alanon and began to enjoy the consistency of meetings that had a structure. The writer also noticed that although it took some time for him/her to understand the value of the Twelev Traditions, over time it became obvious that the Traditions were the foundation of that stability found in meetings.
It took me well into my adulthood to realize I was constantly seeking out situations that had clear expectations, parameters and rules. I think some of that is what brought me into teaching when I was turning 40. I am learning to appreciate the boundaries I can set for myself while knowing those boundaries can help me enjoy flexibility in my life as well.
Good Morning Mary Great topic consistency and structure have certainly become my "go to" friends as I walk through life these days. Before program I did not value these profound concepts and joked about how boring life would be if I embraced them.
Attending Alanon meetings provided me with the experience of seeing the benefits of these beneficial principles and today they have become my strongest tools
Thanks for your service .
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thanks to you both for your shares and ESH. I too am a huge fan of consistency and structure - the more I line up with what's suggested in recovery, the more at peace I am and feel. It did start for me with attending meetings, talking to sponsor (regularly), daily readings, prayers/meditation as suggested, etc.
gisease, I felt and planned as if I was in perpetual reactive mode before recovery. What a relief that I don't have to do that today, I can focus on the here/now, trust a Higher Power to lead me and just be present in what is vs. focused on what might be.
Happy Sunday all - off to a meeting shortly! Already got my run in and went to the driving range so I can be ready for NFL @ Noon!! I am excited that Football season has arrived and love this time of year when Baseball/Football overlap! Make it a great day! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
When my son was a baby, I was laughed at by my peers because my and his day was full of consistency and structure. But I recognized it was what he needed, and it helped me cope with his difficult first 5 months. As he grew, his need for this became even greater. Today, I am allowed to be more spontaneous due to not having to parent a young one. But I find I still like consistency in my day, and I sure don't miss the chaos of living with an addicted person!!!
At my check-up this month, my blood pressure is on the low side of normal, my cortisol levels have been reduced, my psoriasis flares have almost been eliminated, and I am no longer pre-diabetic! LOL!
This is my favorite time of year, Iamhere!! Gonna go watch some football too!!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I always hated the structure in meetings- and the rigmorale many meeting went through... I just wanted to cut to the chase with ESH- pure and simple.
At a F2f a month ago- we were sharing around the circle and it was getting near to me. Then the chair looked at the clock- 8 pm, on the dot and he closed the meeting!
That was okay by me. I had shared here- about three times during the week and my recovery was current.
Hmmm I chaired the same meeting last week and worked from ODAT and Courage to Change. And then a round of sharing. There were a couple of members there from smaller towns further out. And I was glad they got the opportunity to share.
I realise now that at some meetings people do not have a lot to share. That's fine.
I am more or less a 12 stepper now and expect to show an example- of good recovery. The meeting I shared I tended to run off at the mouth a little... but hey- I am there for me too and a good example will show ALANON IN ACTION.
At the beginning we are encouraged to attend six meetings.
I do not actually go 12 months a year any more... and maybe this is the goody-two-shoes in me- but I generally go for a 6 to 8 week stretch... and that is about trust and bonding in Alanon. Seldom hits home in one meeting....
And I do this today- for me, as much as anyone.
I am in a group, outside of Alanon- and I am being asked not to ramble on. My sponsor is talking with me about this too.
[I can take more time here- because there is no egg-timer on the table.]
The group leader is trying to coach me. !!! I am not being 'kicked out'. I am in too much a hurry to 'say it all'. There is always tomorrow, and the next day...
Thank you, Mary, and all who have shared. I too thought the structure of Al-Anon meetings was a bit strange when I first came in, but now I appreciate it. And when I was new, I had a lot of stored-up material that I just had to pour out. I am grateful they listened.
PnP, I am so glad to hear about your positive health results! For me, I am amazed that my physical health did not suffer as much as my mental health did while I was living with alcoholism. I credit the various structures that supported me -- from yoga, to therapy, to Al-Anon -- with being able to stay in good physical health. Keep it up, it looks good on you!
Hey Mary, thanks for the reminder here....we had "rules" in our dungeon of drunks and abusers, but they changed to "suit them" at the drop of a leaf....inconsistency was our daily life...what was "ok" on Tuesday, got you beaten on Wednesday for same "offense" I didn't know what structure and consistency was until I showed up here, all beaten, hopeless, ready to leave this world, i finally found what I had been craving...boundaries..consistency...structure...a "life 101" handbook in the 12 steps and the many slogans...stuff that is the same today as 10 years ago, et al....I can say "NO" and not have to explain myself...I can detach from someone if it is in my best interest and not feel guilty or like a jerk for it......stability.....yes.....stable life style....something I never had b4.....
...
...