The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about our slogan Keep It Simple. The writer stated that he/she once thought the meaning of this slogan was doing whatever necessary to keep others happy. Over time the writer began to realize that simplifying is about not feeling the need to juggle many things at once, its about not feeling the need to say yes to every situation, its about choosing not to live in chaos.
For me, I have realized that my tendency before coming to alanon was to say and do what I said and did based on what I thought other people wanted or expected of me. It took me a while to see that I wasnt truly living my life, I was playing a human chess match all day every day! Keep It Simple, in my case, means saying no when thats what I mean. Keep It Simple means knowing I can take the time to think about things if I need to. Keep It Simple means appreciating all that I have in my life.
Good morning Mary and happy Sunday! Thank you for your service and the daily. I love how this reading ties the slogan into self. I too lived and acted for others more than self before recovery. I often made it even more dramatic by agreeing to do or saying Yes, and then complaining about it. It is in Al-Anon that I have learned that Yes and No are complete sentences, and along with J-A-D-E, it really helps me keep it simple.
This slogan also floats into my mind when I am over-thinking or obsessing about 'life'. My sponsor always graciously reminds me that right now, in the present, all is well. I am sitting with coffee, waiting for the sun to rise so I can let my dog walk me and living a truly great life. Keeping it Simple is a great tool for me to also bring me back to the present moment, where I feel the love from HP and know I have all that I need.
Enjoy your day - we're going to have awesome sunshine and awesome temperatures. All that's on my agenda is a meeting, a football game and some meal prep for the week! Make it grand all - (((hugs)))!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning Mary I can so identify with the idea of "Playing a human chess match" as you stated. Thanks to program the slogans and principles, i have learned how to finally "Keep my life, my responses, my projects on target yet "Simple" I have abandoned the need for impressing others with grandiose behavior or actions and learned to live up to program principles of being focused on myself while keeping it simple.
Thanks for your service.
Good to "see" you Mary! Thank you for this daily. Thank you to Iamhere and Betty for their wise ESH!
Before I was actively working this program, I was going in 10 different directions at once! I was afraid to let others think of me "what they may," so I tended to overextend myself. Because perfectionism was in a "disease state" for me, I rarely let them down, but I ALWAYS let myself down... there was always some form of negative for me. And of course I was ALWAYS managing my AH... his needs, wants, and just coping with all the fallout of the disease was a daily struggle.
Now I am able to pause and think about "Asks" friends/co-workers/etc ask of me and to really evaluate them on how they will effect my serenity. If I can do them without jeopardizing that, I say "yes!" If not, I am able to say, "I am spread too thin right now." I am trying to keep things More Simple in my life.
Grateful for this day... I got to sleep in, and now enjoying my coffee! It is again going to be triple digits here... I sure wish autumn weather would come early this year!!
Peace, MIP Family!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks for your service, Mary, and all the ESH shared above... I still tend to try and people please just to feel good about myself in a very roundabout way, but thanks to this program some sanity is returning and I don't do that all the time anymore. Life is actually pretty ok most of the time now as my thinking and attitude change. I am learning that when things seem bad, unmanageable, there is the option to keep it simple and try to return to this present moment and let go of my problems. I used to fear very much letting go as I was somehow sure (wrongly so) that it would mean me, my life and the whole world, possibly, would become undone, and I'm not kidding. Well, I sure kept things as un-simple as I could manage, really. Drove myself half crazy. The fact that I can manage to let go of anything at all now is a miracle in itself. I don't know where my pigheadness came from exactly, but I am glad and very grateful I'm learning a new way to live. Have a good week, MIP family :)
My take on "Keep it Simple" was a little different- but it did involve learning.
I termed it s KISS...or Keep It Simple,Stoopid! And because the akronym was slightly absurd- it helped me to remember it!
I wa s pulled up once for calling people stupid! Well I was referring to myself- in an off-handed way- as stupid, sometimes.
Maybe someone would say- heaping shame on oneself is not healthy!
In a face to face situation people would be able to tell by my voice intonation, and body language whether I was blaming myself, or others. Or whatever.
My view today- with people going through the muddle steps... er... middle steps- there seem to be heaps and heaps of does and don'ts!
Coming, all, from drinking situations this is inevitable. Because the rule and boundaries seemed to change from day to day. Sometimes from moment to moment.
So we have to live one day at a time- to find our feet. To create healthy boundaries around ourselves.
hey Mary, Thank you for your service.............AND.....Nice share, ..to me, keep it simple is not making a hassle out of everything, picking my "battles" not taking on too many tasks at once...just keeping life basic, uncomplicated which is what I am striving for.....and yes, setting boundaries that are reasonable and fair to me as well, and standing up to them...and its OK for me to say "NO" and again, keeping it simple just may mean that "NO" is a one word sentence..I don't have to explain or justify it...
Thank you for your service Mary! Initially keeping it simple meant saying "no" to taking on added things when already overwhelmed. Today it means saying my truth, saying it briefly and nicely, and detaching. (still working on all of that )
Thanks Mary, and Y'all.