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Post Info TOPIC: One day at a time


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 76
Date:
One day at a time


Hopimg I am making the right choices because I am scared and not ready to fully trust my AH just yet.   He has been hone from detox since Wednesday and he is so confident that he can be ok even if it'd just for today.   Yesterday was stressful for most of the day because I really wanted him to say sorry and make things right and I was holding onto my hurt.    After I got on here I was able to take a step back and act like a rational human being.   It helped and we are now talking and taking things slowly, but I am setting boundaries and he says he accepts that.   So what's my problem?   It's just too new to trust and we have been here!   It sucks that I don't even feel like I can enjoy a decent day



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3068
Date:

MK .. I really encourage you not to make your good days or your bad days center around if he drinks or not. It will be very disappointing and anxiety filled for you. Well I should say it was for me, especially when my XAH started drinking again. I agree .. stay in the moment .. however do so with the expectation of his sobriety. If he's sober then that's fantastic .. if he's not then guess what .. it doesn't have to ruin your day. His sobriety or lack of it is not about you.

Hugs S :)

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"I cannot learn other people's lessons for them.  They must do the work for themselves, and they will do it when they are ready." - Louise Hay



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 224
Date:

Hi mamakat71, nice to see you are leaning into the program. When my RAH decided to seek recovery I too was very skeptical. I did not want to get in his way or get in his business as it wasn't mine. I focused on me and my behavior and personal care as during the active period I was so focused on what he was/wasn't doing that self care and anything else had taken a backseat. Surprisingly he recovered without my help and and still seems to be doing well. I never received an apology and realizing my part of the relationship now I am just thankful he has recovered himself. My favorite program tool to this day is the Serenity prayer. It always reminds me that the only persons behavior and attitude that I can change is me and that is still a work in progress with the help of HP.

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HES



Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 76
Date:

Thank you for reading my post and your reply.   It's so hard to not want that apology because we are human.   Coming on here helps so much to know that I am human.   I hope to keep growing in my recovery so that I can take the focus off of my AH and do some self care.   I didnt get here overnight and every day is a chance to do better.   Progress not perfection!



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Bo


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 638
Date:

Let go of what you want...but don't accept unacceptable behavior.

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Bo

Keep coming back...

God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...

 

Bo


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 638
Date:

mamakat71 wrote:

Thank you for reading my post and your reply.   It's so hard to not want that apology because we are human.   Coming on here helps so much to know that I am human.   I hope to keep growing in my recovery so that I can take the focus off of my AH and do some self care.   I didnt get here overnight and every day is a chance to do better.   Progress not perfection!


 You are so right. Keep doing it, keep trying, and keep making progress.



__________________

Bo

Keep coming back...

God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...

 

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