The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a helpful reminder about what it means to find serenity. Rather than imagining a life without pain or difficulty, serenity offers a way to navigate through the situations that life may bring with strength and courage. Serenity is not a place you get to that doesnt include sorrow, but rather a way to trust that our HP is guiding us through.
I remember the first meetings I ever stumbled into; I felt desperate and at a loss (I often think of the phrase washed up on shore). I was so out of touch with what serenity was about that all I wanted were answers. The beauty of this program for me has been learning that while we must do the work in recovery, there is support and fellowship all around. In todays reading the sentence that stands out to me is: Al-Anon also gives me the opportunity to live a serene life free from the burden of responsibility for others decisions.. One great relief is to know that the only person I need to be responsible for is myself.
This past month, it feels like I've stumbled and with it those feelings of loss and desperation. I appreciate that your post made this connection of events and that there were precipitating factors of other people's decisions.
Thank you for the reminder to strengthen my relationship with my HP and that this too shall pass.
Thank you YF! This really speaks to me today. I too felt desperate when coming in here. What a miracle to know that even if sorrow, pain or the "life happens" hits, it all comes back to trusting in my HP and knowing there is a way to keep from sinking!
Good Morning Mary I can so identify with your experience upon attending your first Alanon Meeting. I know when i first experienced that comfortable, safe feeling deep within, i was startled and did not understand what I was feeling, as it was so NEW. My sponsor explained that it was serenity and I could maintain it as long as I used the tools and did not revert to my old destructive actions. That was so true I was not spared the pain from this disease but deep within i held the strong belief that I was OK and that HP was in control and guiding my life.
Great topic Thanks for your service
Good morning MIP. Thanks to all for the shares and ESH above me. Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. I too had no idea or concept of serenity when I arrived. My mind was the 'swirling derby' of worry, fear, anxiety and more. I am grateful for all that's been passed to me, especially the concepts of accepting what I can change - me and my attitudes, outlooks, actions, etc.
I still worry at times yet know today I am not alone. No matter what happens in this life, I have a HP who leads me when I am willing and trusted program friends that share with me so I may find my way. Happy Sunday to one and all - off to a meeting in a while and golf this afternoon --- weather permitting. We've got some showers this morning and more possible through the day. My gardens are loving it!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you, Mary for your service. Wonderful insight from everyone who shared their ESH!
I was so moved by your analogy, Mary! " .... I felt desperate and at a loss (I often think of the phrase washed up on shore)."
This is EXACTLY the vision in my head when I think of myself living in the thick of my husband's addictions!! And actually, the 2-3 months just after leaving my RAH too.
You know the feeling of swimming all day in the ocean? Or perhaps being caught in a rip-tide? When you finally reach shore, you are utterly wiped out, and devoid of any reserve energy. THAT WAS ME... on a daily basis!!! No wonder my adrenals were shot to hell!
What Betty shared rang true for me too... I have not been spared the pain from living with this disease, but I have been given the opportunity to find a different path (of serenity) should I choose to forgo my "go-to" destructive ways of the past. It is MY choice!
We are deep in May Grey here in SoCal! So gloomy, with none of the needed rain! Oh well, at least it isn't 100 degrees! LOL! I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
at my first meeting 'detachment' was the word I latched onto.
Well, yes, I suppose there is a strong relationship between detachment and serenity. I learned that detachment was not about running and hiding. That was more about escape. Detachment was more about an internal shift. To realise the presence of a higher power was one option. To be a member and a part of a group- and a movement- was another.
All breaking down the barriers.
It has taken me half a lifetime. I could not ask the world to stop, and let me off. I still had to keep living and trying. A lot of the time the changes were subtle. But, in the end, they did add up.
Thanks Mary, and y'all...