Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: CTC. 5-19


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1008
Date:
CTC. 5-19


C2C reading for May 19 speaks about comparing our insides with other people's outside. The reading suggests that we must learn that people can disagree with us without us having to be wrong.  When no one has to be wrong. we can all fit in just as we are,,
The reading goes on to suggest that if I compare I lose  because  maybe I will come out feeling better this time. but I will then feel worse  . The best way to stop feeling that I'm not good enough is to stop comparing.

The quote is from understanding ourselves and Alcoholism:"; little by little, we come to realize that much of our discomfort comes from.our own attitudes............LU
 
 

 



__________________

Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 396
Date:

Good morning LU and thank you!
This certainly speaks to me. I remember being so uncomfortable and even obsessing if someone disagreed with me. My brain interpreted as I was wrong, and yep, not good enough. I found myself in a situation that is causing all those feelings to surface again. It's been a very grateful long time since it has effected me to a degree it is interfering with my thinking/emotions etc. I'm going to physical therapy, small town, everyone seems to know each other, mostly men during my session and the gossip......................omg! It's vicious! I've made up my mind to go to my appointment Monday and find another PT. I know the reading today is about looking at another persons outside and comparing but this one is quite over the top in my comfort department. Practicing self care and making a change.

Have a great weekend!!!!

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Great reminder LU I too felt less than if someone challenged my thinking or observations
Then entering alanon, I discovered one of my many defects was"Comparing" trying to prove that I measured up and usually I found i did not, Compare and despair actually did describe how comparing worked for me
Thanks to HP for removing this attitude and Thanks LU for your service

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

Good morning MIP. Thank you LU for your service and the daily. Thank you also and all others for the ESH and shares. I have come to realize that I was not comfortable in my own skin and had low/lower self esteem, thus was in a state of constant compete and compare. My family, friends, co-workers, others - I always felt less than or greater than and being a 'right-fighter' this is an exhausting way to live/be.

Al-Anon gave me the gift of self-love, self-awareness and self-acceptance. I am now free to be me - imperfect and human. As I continue to learn about me, and to love, embrace and accept me, I am better able to love and accept others around me. Today, I welcome differences of opinion and it challenges my thinking and my motives. I am very grateful that I have no need any longer to compare/compete - in the eyes of the one who matters, we are all created to be exactly who we are.

Off to a meeting in a few and my sweet dog decided to play in the mud this morning when she was to 'do her business'....needless to say, I am going to be bathing a dog and cleaning some carpets/floors as a result! Certainly not the plan for the day but ... oh well - life happens! (((Hugs))) to all!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 

bud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2071
Date:

Thank you for your service and this important reminder. In Buddism, comparison of self to another is considered an act of aggression. I'm a work in progress and practicing self love and being enough.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2725
Date:

Thanks for all the ESH and LU for your service: I remember hearing what I think is a slogan, but I'm not sure: Compare and despair. And boy, that was me, inside, outside, just never good enough. I was not able to "see" myself until my sponsor taught me how. And I am doing much better with decreased comparing. Comparing can be a good way to feel miserable and I no longer want that as part of my life: feeling miserable. There are many other ways to spend my time and energy. That's what program teaches me. Progress not perfection, Lyne

__________________

Lyne

bud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2071
Date:

"Compare and despair" I like that one, Lyne! It throws a quick punch of reality

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 675
Date:

Thanks for your service, LU, and all ESH above. I appreciate the reminder of not comparing my insides to another person's outsides. I'm not doing great in this regard, but getting better and have times when I understand that the front of another person might also be just that, a front put up for anyone watching. That was certainly me for a time, too. It didn't do me any real good, though.

Today's quote is great too. The longer I'm in this program, the more I see the truth of that... I also appreciate the "little by little" part of the quote - it means I'm not alone in not "getting" things quickly, that its normal and not something to look down upon myself about.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend. Thanks for being here

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2940
Date:

 

 smile Thanks P. 

                    Coming to Alanon started getting the inside out... it did take some time. Latterly I did get some special help... and have remained in Alanon too... as a maintenance programme. Giving bak, and getting works closely together for me. Just showing up is enough, for starters.

Thanks so much for your service to Alanon to to us all... aww   



__________________

Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

 

Great post especially right when I showed up and read David's response.  Seems he was at my morning meeting sitting in the room right on the subject of giving and taking and how we do it and how and why....((((MIP))))aww



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1008
Date:

Wow,what great esh on this daily/topic,
I to compared myself to others outsides,alanon has taught and showed me a much better way,
That we are all equals,and I'm grateful for that recovery tool today........shucks,thanks everyone for all this wonderful insightful esh freely given here ..........lu

__________________

Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.