The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am 61 years old. I have been exposed to recovery programs, well educated, pretty successful career, etc. Why is it that I sit here on the verge of tears thinking about of the brutality and violence of my childhood? My immediate family relations have never been authentic. How could they be with such denial? It is most likely I am feeling this way because I have just started the alanon program and it is surfacing. But wow. What a devastating disease.
Hi Ginny,
Welcome, I'm glad you found us here. Alcoholism is a horrific disease that destroys lives. I hate it. I only encountered it 2 years ago and yet it's already had such a horrific impact on my life. I am working the program to allow myself to feel the feelings, to know that they are valid feelings and to learn to cope with them so they don't consume me. I hope that you get to meetings and keep coming back because this program does work. WElcome to the family
Rachael
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"To change the world, start with one step. However small, first step is hardest of all" Dave Matthews Band
Hi Ginny I agree this is indeed a terrible disease. I d think that you answered your own question-- Denial helps us to withstand the trauma but we must take the time to own our pain and as program states use alanon tools and then you can : face it , trace it and erase it. You are doing fine
The blinders of denial are painful when they drop .. you know I prefer to look at it by realizing what I DID go through and how I DID come out on the other side .. I don't think I would be the person I am today had it not been for those situations .. they were not ideal and I would rather never repeat them .. it helped shaped my uniqueness and the coping skills I had to use to survive .. I can choose what still works in my life and what to let go of.
It just sounds like you are right where you are suppose to be and those moments are exhilarating because I get to choose what to let go of, work on, change however whatever word works for you .. how do I grow closer to the person I was really meant to be.
So glad you are here, you are worth it and you deserve to be happy, healthy and whole regardless of what has happened in your past.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Aloha Ginny and welcome to the board with your concerns...Listening to others express their stories with all of the pain and sadness woke me up out of my denial also and any compassion and empathy needed was always soon to come. Al-Anon is a very compassionate and empathetic family group and I have learned I can cry without shame as a male member and then grow in recovery. My locked up tears also started in the sixties and now in the seventies when I sense them wanting to come I don't interfere. I was born and raised in this disease and each day I get I have the opportunity to let go of more fear and sadness and anger and more. Keep coming back and thanks again. ((((hugs))))
Jerry! Beautifully said (((hugs))). This board is as helpful, kind and supporting as my church family only here people really understand my feelings, thoughts, scares and that makes such a huge difference and so much easier to open up and talk about. Even if it's online.
MizzB I've been mentored by so very many recovering AFG members I was a sickie for a long time when I first got into this program and refused to work it as suggested and then the fellowship never ever abandoned me until my Higher Power also stepped in. The AFG fellowship in central valley CA. knew what would happened if I hug around and "did what they did". The principal of service is so awesomely powerful in helping others to get sober and sane. I am in awe of the great number of miracles I have witnessed from service. This is where it works!!! (((hugs))) Dutchy I get what you are saying and it has caused me to remember the journey suggested to me by a former sponsor and other elders in Al-Anon. Thank You
-- Edited by Jerry F on Monday 23rd of April 2018 04:56:29 PM
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Dutchy I get what you are saying and it has caused me to remember the journey suggested to me by a former sponsor and other elders in Al-Anon. Thank You