The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the concept of detachment. When I first began hearing about the idea of detachment, it seemed cold and maybe even cruel to detach- from people. I wasnt able to do it. I began to realize that it is possible to detach from a persons behavior/addiction without ceasing to love him or her. The reading today adds that when detachment is combined with step 11, there is an even greater strength in detaching.
Todays reading mentions that detachment is an opportunity to make a choice. I appreciate this idea- that along with my HPs plan I can help myself in situations that require detachment.
Turning away from the old- reactions, fears, anxieties, behaviors and turning toward the new-outlook, actions, meditations, strength is what I imagine when I am practicing detachment.
Hi Mary thank you for sharing this important consideration / As you pointed out, I too needed to learn not to" react "before I could understand and use detachment. I pause take a few deep breaths and process what is doing on and then I look within for an alanon principle to use in response. It works well Thanks for your service
Happy Sunday Mary and thank you for your service, the daily and your ESH. I wasn't sure how to detach when I had to co-exist with my A(s). It seemed really difficult and with most things, I was overthinking my plan, strategy and the outcomes....I was again reminded through practice that my HP really had a different plan, and as I began practicing detachment, I met some resistance but nothing like I projected.
Over time, I could see that detaching from the disease with any grace I could find resulted in improvement around my home. My A(s) felt more empowered to do whatever they were going to do, and I no longer 'owned' or 'borrowed' their actions, attitudes and/or consequences. The more I detached, the better my days were. As with all things in recovery, I am still a work in progress and appreciate all that's suggested for us to consider One Day at a Time!
We have a return of winter cold this morning and I'm off to a meeting shortly! Make it a great day all....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Mahalo Mary and thanks for the ESH on detachment which was a "rocket science" idea when I first heard of it and became interested in trying it out. I was intrigued by the ESH of others in the early groups I attended as to how they understood and worked it and so often their conditions were much more dire than mine and then here they were happy and sane and being very helpful to the newcomers like myself. One of the gals who I networked with did a detachment with bat on her alcoholic...yep baseball bat... which was a shocking "first stepper" for her and it woke her up so she could get deeper into the more loving and traditional detachment we practice. It helped her tremendously and others also as she passed it on.
