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Post Info TOPIC: 3/15/18 C2C - Forgiveness


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 963
Date:
3/15/18 C2C - Forgiveness


While IAH is tending to other matters I'm pinch hitting today's C2C which speaks about forgiveness: it is not ours to withhold or extend from a position of power or judgment.

The reading states that since we all fall short, forgiving is an opportunity to be reminded of our equal footing with all of god's creatures. It is not our place to judge or hang old events over others as it separates us from our fellows and leaves us feeling negative.

Reminder: I don't know the motives or factors behind what others do, but do know that resentment and blame lead to bitterness. I can find a more nurturing way.

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him." - Booker T. Washington

***************

This is a hard-hitting reading. I have certainly misused the concept of forgiveness at times, particularly with my qualifier before I found AlAnon. I felt I was justified in holding back my forgiveness based upon my determination of what actions I deemed "worthy" for me to grant it.

By doing so, I overlooked my own shortcomings and put myself in the position of elevated judgment. In reality, I lack both the ability and right to do that; with good reason that is the domain of our higher power.

So grateful for the perspective and reminders of the program, and the serenity that comes along with it



__________________

Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 



~*Service Worker*~

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Good Morning Paul forgiveness was a difficult concept for me to embrace. When it finally dawned on me that I was only hurting myself with the anger,"holding myself down" I was finally ready to explore ways to let go of the anger and resentment. Alanon tools such a examining my motives, the 7th Step, picking up the slogans ,staying in the moment and in the day, not judging or gossiping, all contributed to my success.
Thank you for your service and enjoy the day.

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


Senior Member

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Good morning all and thank you for your service and ESH. I too mistake having feelings and passing judgement on another. Yes I may be disappointment or hurt that something is not going along as planned ( short for My way). This doesn't give me the right to throw blame. I have no idea what is going on in the mind of another or what they are thinking. Certainly if I were physically or mentally struggling and too weak to show up another's anger and reprimands would only make things worse. When I catch myself trying to sit in the judges seat I try to PAUSE and remember when I point a finger at another four fingers are pointing back at me.

__________________

HES



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
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Thank you Paul for helping out, your service and the daily. Thanks Betty and HES for your shares and ESH. Great quote which I found to be true....as long as I was holding on to blame of others and shaming them with my resentments, I was as stuck as they were. Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolution for others - it is to set myself free from the bondage of the past, my own emotional reactions and the negativity in my head and heart.

It did NOT come easy. Yet, working this program as best I could brought it to me in God's time. I now can easier see and accept that we are all imperfectly perfect, per the design of a power greater than self. I am grateful for what the program teaches me about letting go and letting God and forgiveness works nicely into 'that' element of my program.

I am traveling today back home. My momma is doing well. I've cleaned the bathrooms, stripped all the beds, washed all the sheets, remade the beds, swept and mopped all the floors and it's only 9am here - OPT - Old People Time....we have a 2 hour drive to the airport, I've got a 2.75 hour flight, and a 2 hour time difference....I suspect I will be either wired for sound when I get home or super exhausted - we'll just see how it unfolds.

Either way, I'm excited to see my family and my puppy....she's been looking for me for the entire time I've been gone and I have to say that my AH has actually been taking her for long walks while I've been gone - which she loves and he....not so much.

Make it a great day and thanks for all the support and prayers! Thanks again Paul for reaching out to help - I'm grateful for you and all of MIP!!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 963
Date:

Thank you Betty, Stan, and IAH for your ESh, all good stuff on a great topic. Great to hear you finished things out on a positive note IAH, I am sure your work was greatly appreciated but your presence there invaluable.

Hope you had a safe trip and get some well needed rest and recovery

__________________

Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
Date:

Thanks Paul - I just got home and left my mobile phone in AZ! I had to laugh at myself as I asked another gal in the security line if I could borrow her phone to tell my parents my phone was in the back seat of their car. She had that look on her face wondering if I was going to take off running with her phone, and then graciously loaned it to me.

I intended to text you and thank you for today and tomorrow. Well - the day went a bit different than planned and it's all going to be OK - but I don't have a phone until it arrives in the mail. So - THANK YOU - I appreciate you and your service!

My hope is to sleep in a bit tomorrow as I'm on OPT (Old People Time)....early to bed and early to rise - (insert eye-roll here)....(((Hugs))) to all!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 

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