The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I had a good laugh at myself over the weekend .. at the moment it looks like there will be more court. I know shocking right?? LOL. Oi. I'm going to see what he has going on I'm not the one jumping to file, I have no intension .. it plays to my favor. I know I'm horrible however after doing this for 7 years I have gotten a little smarter.
My XAH doesn't understand court, he doesn't listen, he doesn't want to listen, and he's not paying me so it's just not my job to explain. I am waiting for the explosion to happen, the one where he realizes that the same amount of money is coming out of his check because no order has been put through to change the current order. So I wait and see what happens .. the burden of this is on him .. not me. That tells me that he is not understanding I'm not required to come forward at this point.
What I see playing out is way different than what he has in the windmills of his mind. I'm gonna let that wind blow. I'm not going to stress about stuff I can't control .. like I don't have enough going on right? LOL.
My oldest is back at college and adjusting. It doesn't look like a lot of trips home and that is what it is .. I will miss him terribly. I do plan a trip next weekend because I committed to buying a few things, a pair of pants, shoes, and some transition essentials. I just need him to feel comfortable in his own skin as much as he can. He seems happy and that's good. The kiddo has a LOT to do and understands in that regard I will be involved in terms of weekly updates on grades and so on. For the most part I am pretty hands off .. I DO like the app Life 360. I got the whole family on it. I am not about leashes electronic or otherwise however for me and my needs in terms of getting kids, they can see where I am and I'm not guessing where they are. My youngest pulled the I'm going out .. dude .. you are 13 you aren't going out .. there is an end time and a beginning time .. LOL.
So for today things are where they need to be .. I will wait and see what happens going forward and see what is going on.
I know my XAH doesn't see what is coming and it seems to be the straw breaking the camels back at the moment I will be curious to see the consequences of these actions. Oldest has not said anything to him at this point we are waiting to have that conversation after we have talked to the boy .. and oldest doesn't get to run and hide .. he may not need to answer any questions however there is no dropping and running. That's not fair.
Hugs S :)
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Good post, Serenity! Sounds like you are back on an even keel!
Peace to you this week!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
You made me laugh! Those hormones can be like little demons controlling your actions, huh?
There were times I thought about myself, "Who the hell IS this person?" I swear I could look down at my belly and see something akin to "Alien" trying to break out! LOL!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
In those moments I actually feel like Satan's spawn lol .. outta like ohhh .. hmm .. which ritual am I doing and where is my sacrifice .. I then look for my voodoo doll of my ex .. this is how I pray for him. Yes .. I have more program work to do. I'm always grateful to read stories of people who actually like their spouse or ex .. I totally do not .. I don't feel the need to apologize for that lol .. I know .. I know .. more work needed .. he could make things so much easier on himself .. however he doesn't. Ugh ..
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Love your outlook and humor SerenityRUS.
Reminds me of the saying, he can run BUT he can't hide.
I remember as a toddler that my Mom thought I'd walk down the isle sucking my thumb (not sure why she hadn't just given me a pacifier like the other kids . Well, I'd be lucky if that were the worst of the worst. lol She needn't have worried and I thought she had it wrong... I thought for a few decades that I'd never spend a month out of court with my exAH. I watched in amazement with his new ridiculous and awful antics and finally tripping up so much and not realizing he kept assuming the position of face plant. But it's been a few years now without court and I'm confident your time will come too. Our program is right, this too shall pass.
Keep doing you (((Serenity))) one day at a time - prayers and positive thoughts continue!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I'm a little unnerved today for a couple of reasons I haven't gotten money from the county since 12/30 basically, so this new year no money and it would be different if my XAH had not paid. He's paid and I would like to know where is my money? I should haven't to wait 3 weeks to get it.
The other is I am lacking in the responsibility area .. UGH .. I hate it when I bite myself in the butt ... so I'm going to have to figure out what to do.
LOL .. ugh .. there are times I am my own worst enemy .. ugh.
Anyway oh well, things happen.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
