The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Stay in the day you have: The writer discusses learning about a crisis involving an alcoholic he/she loves. She began worrying, projecting, dreading the outcome, and could not even focus at work. She remembered the slogan, ODAT. She realized that the worrying could not protect her, yet it was robbing her of the here and now.
Today's Reminder: I needn't explore how I'll feel about something that might occur in the future. I don't actually know how I'll feel, and it may never happen. So when I feel myself leaving the present, I'll remind myself that the future is not today's problem.
Quote from A.J. Cronin: Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its strength .
I can really relate to this reading because at some point I realized my A was drinking and driving. Prior to program, this thought rented space in my head. But beyond the worry was anger , fear, and a sense of dread that my A could actually kill someone else. What if it was a baby or a grandmother? Killing anyone would be more than I could tolerate. How can anyone be so irresponsible ? Use such poor judgement? We could be sued and lose our house. Then and there I would leave. And I learned in program to slow myself down and use the slogans to stay in the present. Keep my head over my feet. And it helped so much to stop worrying about things that I could not control, and importantly, might never happen. At this point my A has close to 9 months sober and thank God she never killed herself or anyone else driving drunk. I've learned to take a deep breath and try to let go and let God. HP must have had her back, even though she doesn't know it. Lyne
Hello Lyne and Bud, Before program I spent most of my time in fear and worry . I was always busy projecting into the future or ruminating about past injuries Thanks to working the Steps, with a sponsor, attending meetings, learning to be honest and to live one day at a time, I have shed that unfortunate defect and am able to appreciate the moment and day. I love the definition that reminds me that FEAR is defined as:" facing everything and recover. " i now have the tools and courage to do just that. Thank you alanon
I'm really trying to focus just on this day, but the "what ifs" keep me tied in knots. I feel that it's because I'm just stuck on Step 2; not only am I having trouble connecting, I'm finding myself being really angry with my higher power. In one post on this site I read that just sticking with the meetings can help, but I'm going on months now and don't seem to be able to hand this burden over. So many people at meetings seem to have gotten past the first couple steps fairly quickly. I so want to be there, but it's just not happening for me. When I look at the other steps I think those will be easier for me, but at this rate I'll never get to find out. Would appreciate hearing from anyone who has or is having this difficulty with Step 2. Thanks.
Hello Lee I do hear you as I too was very angry with HP when I first entered program. i examined that anger and found i resented the hard times I was forced to endure and felt that HP had abandoned me and not answered my prayers. It appears I wanted HP to do my will as I did not understand that life was hard and that we all must face hard times to grow and learn.
I found using the slogans helped me to find the courage to keep showing up, living one day at a time, focused on myself and trusting that HP was guiding my life. today I have an absolute belief that HP is guiding my life and that difficult times are necessary so that I can learn life lessons.
Meetings sharing and this Board helps on the journey Please do keep coming back
Thank you for the great reminder to stay in the day. One of my biggest struggles is worrying incessantly about "what If" and trying to stay one step ahead of the chaos and doom that I am sure is about to happen. When I stay in the present, I can feel the stress and tension melt away and my day zips along quite nicely.
Thank you Lyne for the daily and for your service. Thank you all above me for your ESH and shares. I too arrived never present. I was wrapped up and angry/resentful about the past or I was projecting into the future. I had to continuously practice coming back to the here and now - this very moment on this very day. It was a hard habit for me to break.
I now look back with eyes to grow, learn and change and am grateful I do not waste my energy and time this way as much today. It took me a while to shift my thinking from feeling foolish for the waste of 'resources' to feeling grateful yet I believe the gratitude comes from continuously trying to practice this program.
Lee - I too came to the program very angry with God. It kept me stuck for a long while as I had distorted thinking about what God was and how God was to work in my life. My sponsor was very helpful in many discussions, and through the steps, I was able to work on my thinking, my expectations and my definition of a higher power that worked for me.
I am grateful for recovery and all of you. It's mighty cold here today and I am staying put. We still have some bad roads out there and this is a safe place for me, just for today! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Betty - I like that - FEAR = face everything and recover
Lee- I have found that my "what if's" come when I feel that I'm overwhelmed and I'm out of control.... it's a pattern I established that gives the illusion I'm in control or can control things other than myself/ my actions. I came to the program many years ago, full of anger and resentment because I had been done wrong and I wasn't in control of what was happening. Keep coming back - the program works!
Lee, hello. I don't know if you are working the steps with a sponsor, but that is really important to have an experienced person in Alanon guide you along that process. I know it feels crummy to be stuck but you really can get unstuck! Keep coming back. Lyne
Hello everyone and thank you for all the shares. Boy, I needed to hear this at this moment. What an amazing gift of "today" and all it takes is my noggin wandering into tomorrow to get sideways in my thoughts.
